Finding happiness again, chapter 26

Rosamund had come early and sent Cora and Robert out of the door. At first Cora found it difficult to leave Ava with Rosamund. But Rosamund and Robert convinced her they needed the day away from the worrying.

Robert had taken Cora to a spa centre. He booked a massage, but when Cora should be ready, the woman came towards Robert. “Your wife is fast asleep, I can’t get her to wake up.”

Robert walked towards Cora and softly he kissed her on the cheek. Slowly Cora opened her eyes, when she saw Robert, her eyes filled with tears. He helped her up and get back in her clothes. “We will go back home, so you can sleep.”

“No, darling, this is a day for us. We shouldn’t be at home. Ava will be in need of us, when she sees us.”

“I will book a hotel room for today, so we can sleep”

“That is a wonderful idea.”

+++

Cora had fallen asleep almost before her head was on her pillow. Robert had tugged her in and then got into bed himself. He could use some sleep himself.

Hours later Robert woke up. Cora was laying against his chest, in a deep sleep. Robert checked his phone and saw missed calls from Rosamund. His heart started racing. There was a voice message. ‘Ava has a fever, we are in the hospital.’

Robert’s heart sunk in his chest. He kissed Cora awake. “Hmm, this was really nice.” Cora started, but she stopped when she saw Robert’s face. She got up. “What is wrong? Robert?”

He had to swallow. “Rosamund is in the hospital with Ava.”

Before he knew it, Cora was standing next to the bed, putting on her clothes again. “We have to go to her.”

“Darling, calm down. Ava is in good hands, Rosamund knows what she is doing and the doctors are with her. We will go, but please don’t worry too much.”

“I knew, this was a bad idea, why did we do this. Why did we leave her alone? Oh darling, what if something is really wrong, and we were enjoying ourselves. What if….”

Robert stopped Cora. ‘Don’t, just don’t.” He pulled her close. “We will go to the hospital right now, if there is something wrong, we at least will have the energy to be there for her.”

Cora’s tears drenched Robert’s shirt. She inhaled deeply and said: “You are right of course. But we should really go now.”

+++

When they arrived at the hospital, Ava was sitting up in her bed, smiling and making fun with the nurse. She was in a special room.

“Rosamund?” Cora walked over to her sister-in-law. “What happened?”

“I picked Ava up to bring her to bed and then she was glowing. I took her temperature and noticed she was burning up. I immediately called the hospital, as you instructed me. And now they are doing all kind of tests)

 with her.”

“Mr and Mrs. Crawley?” A doctor asked.

“Yes!” Robert turned around abruptly. “Yes, we are.” Robert and Cora followed the doctor into his office

“Your little girl will be fine. We did some blood tests and they came back negative. That means that Ava has won the fight and we made a mistake in her diagnosis. She doesn’t have ALL, but AML.” The doctor paused when he saw their faces. “That means she still had leukaemia, but a less aggressive form. We treated her for ALL and her body reacted very good. She still needs some treatments, but she is out of danger.”

Robert was squeezing Cora’s hand. “But what about her fever?”

“Your little girl still has a bad immune system, her body needs to rebuild that. So, she is still highly at risk of getting a bug. She has a cold bug, but in her body that turns into a fever directly. We will keep her here overnight, but I think she can go home tomorrow.”

When Robert looked at Cora, his tears were streaming over his face, but he saw the same look on Cora’s face as he was feeling himself. She was crying and smiling at the same time. He held her in the tightest hug he could. She pressed her body against his. “Oh darling, she will live. Our darling Ava will live. I can’t believe this.” Cora murmured into his chest.

“Can we go to her?” Cora asked he doctor.

“It is better to keep her in the isolated room for tonight, just to be sure. We don’t want to risk anything.” He answered.

Robert took Cora’s face in his hands. “Darling, just imagine, if it was ALL , she needed to stay in that room for much longer. We are lucky, we will say goodbye through the glass for today.

Rosamund was waiting anxiously. “Cora I am sorry, I am truly sorry.”

Cora wrapped her arms around Rosamund. “There is nothing to be sorry about. You did what you needed to do and that was bring her to the hospital. We couldn’t have asked for better care for her. And we have some good news. Ava’s bloodwork came back negative. That means they didn’t find signs of leukaemia anymore.”

“What? How is that possible?” Rosamund asked with a high-pitched voice.

“The doctors said she had ALL, but they made a mistake and it is AML, a milder form.” Cora explained everything to Rosamund while they were walking out of the hospital.

+++

Back home Robert was in the kitchen making a cup of tea. Cora walked in and put her hands on his stomach. She rested her chin against his shoulder. “We will have a good night sleep tonight.”

Robert put the kettle down and turned around to face Cora. “Darling, you are my everything. Everything!” He kissed her lips, very softly and with care. It was the first time he really kissed her, since Ava got her diagnosis 10 months ago. Cora’s whole body reacted on him. She hungered for his touch and was finally able to let him in. The worries about Ava had eaten her up. There was no space in her mind to let Robert in. They were living next to each other, but not together. She felt deep down, they were together again.

Finding happiness again, chapter 25

The second week had flown by. Before they knew it, Cora was packing the last stuff in the suitcases. Robert wrapped his arm around Cora’s waist. “I had the best time darling, thank you so much for arranging all this. It was the best birthday surprise you could give this old man.”

Cora turned around. “You are not old! Because then I am old too!” She kissed the tip of his nose. “Do you have everything?”

Robert picked up Ava and took Cora’s hand. “Everything I need!”

Cora smiled and walked with Robert outside. The flight back home went smooth. When they got back home, Cora said she would give Ava a bath and put her to bed.

+++

“Robert……..? Robert, are you there?” Cora called out.

Robert popped his head around the corner. “What is it?”

“Do you remember Ava falling? She has a bruise on her back and leg.”

Robert stepped closer. “No, she didn’t. How did she do this? Ava?” He asked “Did you fall?”

“No, daddy.” Was her answer.

“Strange? I will keep a better eye out.” Cora said mumbling.

“She must have stumbled against something. Don’t worry.” He turned around and went back to the bedroom to unpack.

+++

When Robert woke up, it was in the middle of the night. He noticed Cora was awake. “Darling?”

“Hmmm, did I wake you honey?”

“I don’t know. But why are you awake?” Robert said while putting his hand on Cora’s arm.

“I am worried about Ava. She is having a fever, and I don’t like those bruises. Last week she had several nosebleeds.”

“What are you thinking of?” Robert closes his hand around her arm.

“I don’t know. It just worries me.”

“Darling? Please?” Robert strengthened his grip

“What if she has something serious.”

“My dear, please try to get some sleep. We will call a doctor tomorrow.” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arm around her.

Cora let out a deep sigh. “You are right.”

+++

Robert was in his office when John entered. He didn’t notice, him stepping in. His head rested in his hands, tears dripping on his desk.

“Robert? Something wrong at home?” John asked

Robert jerked up. “Kind off.” Was his answer.

John picked up a chair and set next to Robert “You want to tell me?”

“It is Ava.” His voice caught in his throat. “She is, she is sick.” Robert looked up to John. “She has ALL – acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.”

John gasped. “When did you find out?”

“This afternoon. When we came back from Rome, we saw some strange bruises and she had a fever. We went to the doctor the next day and she was send to the hospital for tests. And it turned out she has ALL.”

“So , you are saying, you left Cora alone with Ava? Why are you here?”

Robert looked guilty. “I don’t know, I cannot handle this.”

“Yes, you can. You will go home. Ava will be sleeping right now. Your wife needs you! You can’t leave her alone.” John said firm.

+++

When Robert arrived home, he found Cora in the big armchair. She was curled up in a blanket, staring at the wall. Robert touched her arm.

Cora looked up with red eyes from crying. “Oh, Robert, why did you go away? I needed you.”

“I am sorry darling. I handle emotions very bad. I am sorry. But I am here now.” He sunk on his knees next to her and took her hand. “Is Ava asleep?”

Cora brushed his hand with her thumb. “She is. She doesn’t understand what is happening. I can’t believe treatments will start tomorrow. Oh darling, what if she dies.” Cora broke down in tears.

Robert pulled her closer. “We are getting her the best doctors we can. We are not going to lose our little girl. And from now on, I will be there for you! I am on your side.”

+++

Chemotherapy had started straightaway. It was hard to see Ava lose all her hair. Their lively darling daughter had changed into a very silent and a withdrawn child. Robert also noticed Cora had lost her joy. She was only busy with caring for Ava, she never took a moment for herself. It worried Robert. Cora was never a voluminous woman, but now she was getting skin over bone.

When Ava was in bed and Cora walked out of her room, Robert took her hand. “Darling. Did you eat something today?”

“I had breakfast.”

“Sweetheart, that is not enough. It is 15.00 o’clock. Come I will make you something, what do you fancy.”

Cora lowered her shoulders. “It’s alright darling. I don’t need anything.”

Robert took her shoulders in a firm grip. “Cora! I need you to stay healthy. I can’t lose you and Ava.” Robert’s words made Cora cry. She grabbed onto Robert and sobbed. Robert held her firmly against his body and let her break down. He didn’t say anything, but just stood there with her in his arms. brushing her hair and back.

Cora looked up. “Darling, I totally forget to think about you. You are also having to deal with this. I am sorry. Come we will eat something and I will make you a cup of tea.” She took his hand and squeezed it.

Robert made some toast for Cora and she gave him a cup of tea. She sat down next to him, her hand in his. “Ava will survive this, she is reacting well on the treatments. We will do everything that we can to pull her through this.” She got up and massaged his shoulders. His muscles were so tense. “Darling, we can ask Rosamund to be here tomorrow, so we can go for a walk or something?”

Robert turned around. “Ava doesn’t have a hospital day right?”

“No, she doesn’t, no treatments tomorrow, so Rosamund just has to be here.”

“That is a wonderful idea, I could use a day together with you.”

Cora leaned in to kiss Robert. “We have to be strong together, I will not shut you out anymore. I need you to be strong for Ava.”

Finding happiness again, chapter 24

The first week in Rome had been splendid. The final day they would be all together, her girls had taken Ava for the day, so they could spend time together.

In the afternoon they were at the Trevi Fountain. Robert looked at Cora who came walking towards him with two ice creams in her hand. He was standing next to the fountain, she stepped next to him. He rested his hand on her lower back. With his fingertips he pulled her a little bit closer. He took a bite of her ice cream.

She looked up at him and gave him a radiant smile. Her hip resting against his, her hand on his bum. “That is my ice cream, you have your own.”

He leaned in and kissed her softly on her bright red lips. She didn’t wear make-up a lot, but today she did, and it made her irresistible. Her lips answered his and the tip of her tongue touched his teeth. Then she pulled back and rested her head against his shoulder. “My ice cream tastes good indeed.” She chuckled.

Robert’s fingers dug a little deeper in her skin. “You don’t know what you are doing with me! Can we go back to our hotel?”

“We have to finish our ice creams.” Cora said with a cheeky smile. “And we have dinner reservations at Imàgo. We got that special table in the corner, looking out over the city.”

Robert kissed Cora again, just a little longer. “We will ask Victoria to keep Ava for the night!”

“We better ask Olivia. She will say yes.”

+++

After walking around some more, Cora and Robert got (went) to the restaurant. They had a stunning view over the city. Robert was constantly touching Cora with his feet. Cora had tried to focus on dinner, but after the dessert she gave up. “I guess we will have coffee back at the hotel?”

“If you are calling it coffee, I am up for that.” Robert was already sliding his chair back.

“Robert(,) we need to pay, calm down.” But Cora felt the same urge in her.

From the last metro stop to their hotel it was still a 22-minute walk, but they decided to walk it.

Robert was holding her hand. “There is no better feeling than this.” He said.

“Walking in Rome, with you is a dream.” She took his hand a little firmer in hers.

+++

Once Robert closed the hotel door, he pulled Cora close. She got closer, grabbing his shoulder and clinging on to him, as if this was the last time, she would kiss him. Robert’s hand pulled her even closer. His hand on her neck, slipping down her dress. His fingers followed her shoulder blade, it made shivers run down Cora’s spine. She let out a soft moan. Their lips interlocked, her tongue found his. She could taste the chocolate from his dessert.

Her hands went to the button’s on his shirt, her fingers caressing his skin. Slowly they walked back to the bed. Meanwhile not breaking up their kiss. Robert was pulling down the zipper on Cora’s dress, and she had to stop out to not stumble over the fabric from her falling dress. Robert broke the connection, he stepped back to look at his wife. “Oh darling, you are so beautiful.”

Cora was standing in her bra and slip, she moved her hips while standing in one place. “Maybe you want to drop something too?” She said very softly. Robert unzipped his trousers and boxer short on her request and lowered them slowly, not breaking eye contact with her. Once he stepped out of them, he walked over to Cora. He took of her bra and slip, lifted her up and kissed her. Cora wrapped her legs around his waist. Robert lowered her onto the bed and started kissing her chest. His hands playing with her breasts. Cora’s hand moved to his manhood. When there was a soft knock on the door. Robert let out an annoyed moan.

Cora’s hand moved away from Robert, and she was getting up, but Robert pushed her back down. “Maybe they have the wrong door.” He said.

But there was a second knock and a soft: “Mama?”

“That is Olivia!” Cora got up from underneath Robert and started putting on a night robe. Robert also got up and put on his robe.

Before Cora opened the door she checked if Robert was covered. “What is wrong my dear?” Olivia was standing there with a very red eyed Ava. “Darling?” Cora got on her knees and pulled Ava close. “What is wrong?”

“She thought you two had gone and she was left with Max and me.” Olivia said.

Cora picked Ava up. “Come inside.” She cuddled Ava. “We would never leave you darling.”

Olivia looked in the room and turned around embarrassed. Cora noticed it, and at the same time she saw their clothes scattered around the room. “Oh my, I am sorry.” She said with cheeks red as a tomato. “We, we uhm, we weren’t expecting anybody.”

“I think I have to say sorry, I interrupted something. Ava? Now you know your Mummy and Daddy are here, can we go back to sleep?” Olivia said.

“I want to sleep with Mummy.” Ava said.

Cora’s eyes went to Robert. “Let her.” He said, the mood is already ruined. Cora lowered her shoulders a little.

“I will say goodnight.” Olivia said. “See you at breakfast.”

Cora took Ava to their bed and sat her next to Robert. “Just one bedtime story from Daddy and then off to bed, darling.”

Robert was good at making up stories and even Cora loved listening to them. Robert made up a lovely story about a princess and a dragon. Ava was hanging on his lips, but fell asleep before the story was finished. Cora picked her up and put her to bed.

She got into bed next to Robert, who was already laying on his side waiting for her. She crawled close and rested her head on his arm. Her fingers playing with his chest hair. “Sleep tight my darling. I love you with everything I am.”

Robert kissed the top of her head. “You are my world, and Ava is part of that.”

Cora let out a deep sigh. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Robert said with surprise.

“That you are not disappointed Ava is already back in our room. That Olivia couldn’t keep her in their room.”

“Why would I, Ava is our responsibility. We had fun today. Now sleep darling. we have another fun week ahead of us. With just the three of us.”

Cora breathed in Robert’s smell and started falling asleep, she didn’t fight it and just let her eyes close and drift into the most beautiful dream.

Finding happiness again, chapter 23

Cora was in her atelier when Robert entered. She quickly turned her work around. “Darling, I asked you to knock before you came in.” She said smiling.

“I am sorry.” Robert bent down to kiss her. “John just called to ask us for dinner tonight. Are we free?”

“We are, how lovely.” Cora looked at her watch. “Did you already have tea?”

“No, not yet.”

Cora stood up and took his hand. “Then it is high time, before we pick up Ava from day-care.”

“We could also have fun before we pick her up.” Robert’s hand went to her bum.

Cora leaned in on Robert. “I love you, but not now.”

Robert’s shoulders lowered. Sometimes he could look like Isis, Cora thought. His puppy eyes were adorable.

“If we are back home on time and Ava sleeps, you can have me.” Cora brushed her hand over Isis’s head who came to greet them when they walked out of her atelier.

+++

“We have some news.” John started, while taking Anna’s hand, when they finished dinner and were in the kitchen cleaning up. “Anna, is pregnant again.”

“How wonderful. congratulations.” Cora stepped towards Anna to hug her. “How are you feeling?”

“Quite alright, no morning sickness yet. It is also a great help that Johnny is turning 7 this year. I don’t have to pick him up.” She joked.

“You are becoming a dad again, that is amazing.” Robert slapped John on the back. “This calls for a celebration.”

“I have the right whiskey for it.” John showed him a bottle of Bowmore 12-Year-Old Single Malt Scotch.”

“You know how to celebrate.” Robert said. They walked out to the balcony with their glasses.

Cora stayed behind with Anna.

“How is that work for Robert coming along?” Anna asked.

“It is almost finished, I hope Robert will like it. I didn’t know what to give him for his 50th birthday. He still doesn’t want gifts. I invited Victoria, Dan, Tayler, Sebastian, Olivia and Max over. The morning of his birthday we will hop on a plane to Rome. There we will meet up with them, I hope it still works out that you, John and Johnny fly the day before. Only if you are up to, now you are pregnant.” Cora stopped and looked at Anna.

“As long as I don’t have any problems, we will definitely be in Rome for his birthday surprise.” Anna said.

“Great.” Cora gave her a big smile. “I made a reservation at La Pergola in the Waldorf Astoria hotel. We also have our rooms there. I booked the Vista Suite with Rome view for Robert and me. And the girls and you and John will have suites too. We will spend a week in Rome, enjoying the city and also the spa that is inside the hotel.”

“You booked us a suit?” Anna said with a high-pitched voice.

“I did, I want to spoil you all. Robert is only turning 50 once. And I want all of us to have that luxurious experience. But please don’t tell anything to Robert yet. I really want this to be a surprise.”

+++

The morning of Robert’s birthday, Cora woke him up with a kiss. Ava was standing next to her with a paper in her hands. “Happy birthday, darling.” Cora kissed him again. We both made a drawing for you.” Robert picked Ava up and looked at her drawing.

“Darling, that is so beautiful, did you make it yourself?”

Very proudly Ava was nodding her head. Cora brushed her hair. “All by herself. She only needed Mama to write your name. I also made something for you.” She turned around and picked up the canvas which she had rested against the wall.

Robert sat up to look at it properly, his eyes grew big. He looked into the eyes of his wife and daughter. It was a painting from a picture he took when they were in Scotland on holiday. Cora’s eyes smiled with her mouth and Ava had the same twinkling in her eyes as her mummy.

“Oh, my dear, this is really beautiful. I am blown away by your talent. It is as if I am looking into your real eyes. This will look wonderful in my office. Oh darling, what a wonderful present. Now I understand why you were locking your atelier.” He pulled Cora’s hand down so he could kiss her. Once his lips touched hers, he wrapped his arms round her neck and pulled her on him.

Cora chuckled. “Darling, Ava is next to us.”

“She will learn how much her parents love each other.” He bit her earlobe.

“How much I love you, I don’t want to traumatise her.” Cora kissed Robert intense and pushed herself up. “And we have to go.”

“Where?”

“To the airport, and that is all I am going to tell you.”

Robert pulled her down again. “What are you up to.?”

Cora let her body rest on his. “You will see when we board the plane. Your suitcase is already packed.” She kissed the tip of his nose. “Come on, hop in the shower. We have 2 hours before we need to go.”

Robert’s hands roamed over her back and bum. “And you are definitely not going to tell me where we are going?”

“No” Cora gave Robert a sneaky smile. Worked herself up again, took Ava and walked out of the bedroom. “Just hurry you will know sooner, where we are going.” She deliberately was swaying with her hips.

+++

When the stewardess who checked them in said. ‘Have fun in Rome’ Robert put his arms around Cora and kissed her in the middle of the terminal, twirling her around. “You are a treasure.”

The flight was comfortable, Ava had behaved well. When they got their luggage and walked out the terminal, there was a second surprise for Robert.

John, Anna with Johnny next to her, Victoria, Dan, Tayler, Sebastian, Olivia and Max where waiting for them.

“What are you guys doing here?” Robert exclaimed. “Cora? How did you do this?”

Cora had Ava on her arm, leaned into Robert. “I hope it is a good surprise.” We will stay here for 2 weeks. The first week we will be with everybody, and then we have a week with the three of us.

“This is the best surprise ever. What a perfect time we will have.

Finding happiness again, chapter 22

Robert couldn’t believe Cora had gone to New York. Why did she need to go. She could have gone, once Daniel was dead, for the funeral. But no, she needed to be with her ex to support him. John had called to invite him over for dinner, they got home early from their trip.

“Why aren’t you in New York with Cora?” Anna asked.

“She didn’t need me there.” He answered.

“Ok? When is she coming back?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I can take over for you at the office, so you can pick her up” John offered.

“That is not necessary, I will work from home, so I will be there when she comes home. And Ava will be home too, instead at the day-care” Robert said taking a sip of his wine.

Later that evening he overheard Anna saying to John. ‘I hope everything is alright between them.” and he wasn’t sure if everything was alright. He started to doubt his decision to not pick her up.

+++

Cora was waiting for her luggage; she was still over thinking the conversation she had with Victoria. Victoria had questioned why Robert wasn’t with her in New York. Her sadness turned into anger. Why wasn’t he there for her, why didn’t he trust her. Was her moving to London, marrying him and getting pregnant not enough proof? She needed him, but he was absent.

She got in a taxi, Robert said he didn’t have time to pick her up. When she walked into their home, Ava came running. “Mama!” She held up both arms. She looked adorable, with her dark hair in two pigtails. Her dark brown eyes were looking at her, and it still amazed Cora how, two blue eyed people could have a daughter with those intense dark eyes. Cora picked Ava up. “Hello darling, I have missed you.” She snuggled her little girl against her, soaking up the warmth of her body.

Robert walked over and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. “She is happy you are home.” Cora gave him a look.

“That’s good.” She said, putting Ava down. “I will unpack my suitcase.” Without giving any more attention to Robert, she walked to the bedroom. Ava followed her.

+++

“Dinner is ready.” Robert popped his head around the corner, when he saw Cora laying on the bed with Ava next to her. Both were asleep. ‘Ava will not sleep tonight.’ He thought. So, he walked over and carefully tried to wake up Ava, without waking Cora. Of course, he failed and Ava started crying the moment he picked her up. Cora sat up straight.

“Robert!” She stretched her arms out to take Ava from him, who was more than willing to be in her mother’s arms.

“I am sorry to wake you, but Ava will not sleep tonight if she sleeps too long now.”

Cora looked at the clock. “You are right. Come darling.” she said to Ava. “We will start dinner.”

“Dinner is already waiting on the table.” Robert said.

“Thank you.” Cora got up and walked past Robert to the kitchen.

At the dinner table, Cora was feeding Ava and talking to her. But she didn’t exchange a word with Robert.

“Cora?” Robert started. Cora didn’t look up, but he continued. “We need to talk.”

“Indeed we do, but not now!”

+++

The rest of the evening Cora had ignored Robert and after putting Ava to bed, she disappeared into the bedroom. She wasn’t ready to talk to Robert, so she focused on her book. When later that night Robert entered their bedroom, she closed her book and got into bed on her side. Turned off her bedside lamp and turned on her side, with her back towards Robert.

He crawled in and scooted closer to Cora, but before he could touch her, she said, she wanted to sleep. So, he returned to his side of the bed. “Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Maybe, we will see.”

+++

Cora was woken up by Ava’s little hands on her face. “How did you get out of bed?” she brushed her little girl’s hair. She looked at Robert, he was still sleeping. “Come we will go to the living room, so daddy can sleep.”

She gave Ava breakfast and made some toast and juice for Robert. She figured he would be up soon, and she was right. She was just rinsing the juicer when he walked into the kitchen.

“Thank you for making me breakfast.”

Cora took Ava out of her highchair and brought her to the living room and put the television on. She hated giving Ava screen time early in the morning, but she and Robert needed time to talk.

“Are you ready to apologize?” She started when she got back into the kitchen, leaving the door ajar, so she could hear Ava.

Robert gave her a puzzled look. “Me? What about you? Going off to be with your ex-husband, leaving me and Ava behind.”

“I asked you to come, but you didn’t want to. I needed you there. But you were too busy being jealous to notice my needs.” Cora felt tears stinging, but she fought them back. She was not crying, not now.

“You didn’t need me there, did you? Pretending to be the perfect little family.”

“If you must now. Seeing the man, you lived with for 22 years and loved for 5 years, dying, that is hard. Seeing your girls grieve over the loss of their father, that is hard. Not having your husband there to lean on, THAT IS HARD.” She said with rage. “I needed you, and all you did was thinking I was cheating on you! You still do.”

Robert’s face got white.

“And then when I called you, to tell you I missed you, you still didn’t trust me. You just didn’t trust me and that hurts. That really hurts.” Cora couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. She stormed out of the kitchen, put a jacket on Ava and herself and walked outside. She needed fresh air and couldn’t be in the presence of Robert.

“Mama?” Ava said with an unsure voice, when the elevator doors closed.

Cora got down and gave her girl a hug. “Mama, will be fine darling. You want to go to the playground?”

Ava’s whole face lit up and she totally forgot the tears on her mother’s face.

+++

Hours later, Cora returned. She went to get some lunch with Ava, Robert had called her cell phone several times, but she ignored it. She knew it wasn’t fair she walked out. When she opened the door she saw John and Anna. “Anna? John? I didn’t know you were coming?”

“We weren’t, we are here to pick up Ava.” John said.

Anna had walked over to Cora and said: “You two need a good talk without having to care for her.” She tickled Ava, who burst out laughing. She took Ava’s hand in hers and the three of them then walked out. Leaving Cora and Robert alone.

“You want something to drink?” Robert asked. He didn’t know how to start. He knew deep down he was wrong.

“Just water.” Cora sat down in the armchair, making sure Robert wasn’t able to sit next to her. She didn’t want his affection. She would break the moment he touched her. When he returned ,she said: “So, in which camp are Anna and John?”

“Neither.” Robert said.

“Oh?” Cora looked at Robert, who was still standing.

“No, they didn’t pick a side, because they aren’t part of this. The only thing, that Anna made clear to me, that I behaved like a real jerk. And I am sorry for that.”

“Too bad, you needed Anna, to see this.”

“Cora, I am sorry. And yes, I needed her insights, but I saw it now, isn’t that enough?”

“No, I don’t know.” She lowered her gaze, she felt her voice trembling.

“Cora?” Robert sat down on the couch and took her hand in his. And exactly what Cora was afraid off, happened. She started crying uncontrollably. Robert sat as close as possible, his knee touching hers and with both hands he was holding hers.

Cora tried to stop her tears, but she wasn’t able to. It was the first time she was crying after Daniel’s dead. Robert had gotten up, sat on the armrest and wrapped both arms around her. “Let it out, darling. Let it out. I am sorry I wasn’t there for you. I was a real jerk. I should have trusted you and know you didn’t go there to hurt me. Of course, you needed to be there, for your girls, but also for yourself. I should have realised that and supported you.”

Cora buried her face in Robert’s chest and let out all the grief she felt over the last week. Seeing her girls in distress had broken her. Being back in New York, without Robert hadn’t felt right. But now he was here, holding her. She needed to let go of her anger, it wasn’t helping her. She clinged to Robert, his body warmth was pulling out all the pain. His heartbeat calmed her down. She knew this was where she was meant to be.

Finding happiness again, chapter 21

Cora is 47, Robert 49, Ava 4. Victoria 28, Tayler 27, Olivia 26.

“I need to go to New York. The girls need me.”

“Are you going for the girls? Or to see Daniel?”

“Robert! Daniel got in a bad accident and he may not survive. I need to be there. He was my husband for 22 years and he is the father of my children.”

“Sure, go! Will you come back?”

“Please, don’t do this. You know I love you. I am not going for Daniel. I am going for Victoria, Tayler and Olivia.”

“So Ava and I can wait.” Robert started to walk away.

“Robert? Robert please.” Cora tried to grab his hand, but he pulled his hand back. “Why don’t you and Ava come with me, so you can see for yourself what is happening.”

“You know that isn’t an option. I can’t leave right now. John and Rosamund aren’t here, so who would run the company? When is your flight?”

“Tomorrow morning, please Robert, I don’t want to leave on a fight.”

“Just stay than.” Robert looked at her, turned around and closed the door behind him.

Cora brushed away her tears. She needed to go to New York. Daniel was in the hospital and was fighting for his life. Her daughters needed her. What if Daniel died. They would lose their father. And although Daniel cheated, he was still the father of her children and she once loved him.

Robert hadn’t come to bed that evening and the next morning he didn’t say a word.

“Robert, I need to go, otherwise I miss my flight.” Cora kissed Ava’s head. “You be a good girl for daddy alright?” She walked over to Robert and wrapped her arms around him. Cora kissed his neck and cheek, but Robert was stiff. He didn’t react.

“Let me know when you landed safely.” He took a bite of his toast and focused on the morning paper again.

“I will.” Cora said in a soft voice. “Know that I love you.” With tears in her eyes she left, and got in a taxi to the airport.

+++

Olivia was waiting at the airport. “Mum, what’s wrong?” She said when she saw her mother’s face.

“Don’t you worry about me. How are you holding up.” Cora had tried to let the argument with Robert go, but she kept repeating the scene in her head. She hated it that she had to go while they were still fighting.

“I am not sure, how I am feeling. Papa is badly hurt and the doctors aren’t giving him much hope. Victoria and Tayler are at the hospital. Do you want to go there directly?”

Cora wrapped her arms around Olivia. “Darling, I am so sorry this has happened. We better go to the hospital directly.”

“Where is Ava? And Robert?”

Cora swallowed. “Robert couldn’t come and having Ava with me would be hard. So she stayed home with her father.”

Olivia drove to the hospital. When Tayler saw her mother she burst out in tears. “Oh Mama, what if Papa is going to die?”

Cora brushed her hair and held her tight. Not knowing what to say. Victoria leaned in on her and Cora kissed her cheek.

“Is Michelle here?” Cora asked.

“No, she will be back tonight.” Victoria answered.

“Can I see your dad? Is it allowed to visit him.”

Victoria brought Cora to his room. Where she left her alone with Daniel.

“Look at you.” Cora touched his hair. “What have you done. Please keep fighting. Your girls need you here. They can’t lose their dad.” She sat down next to him and took his hand in hers. It felt strange to touch him again. She sat there for a long time. Just talking to him. Tayler came into the room to tell that Michelle was back. Cora got up and kissed Daniel’s forehead. “Come back to us.”

Cora had taken her girls back home. It wasn’t good if they lingered around in the hospital. She would make them a proper dinner.

+++

The next morning Cora called Robert. She needed.to hear his voice.

“Robert.” He answered his phone.

His cold tone threw Cora aback. “Hi darling, it is me.”

“Hi” was the only thing he said.

“I miss you.” Cora tried, but she knew she wouldn’t reach him. Robert didn’t answer. “How is Ava doing

“She is at the day-care and doing alright. What is it that you called for?”

“I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you.”

“You have said that. How is your ex husband doing?”

Cora let out a deep sigh. “Daniel isn’t doing very well. The doctor’s say he will not make it. But we have to wait and see what happens.”

“So you will not come home soon?”

“Darling, I don’t know. I can’t leave my girls alone right now. They need me.”

“And you need Daniel!”

“No, no darling, no. I need you, only you. Please, don’t do this.”

“I have to run, say hello to the girls from me.”

Before Cora could answer, he had hung up the phone. She sunk down on the couch and buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t go back to London, but Robert was really upset. Why didn’t he trust her.

Cora’s phone rang, hopeful she looked at the name. But it wasn’t Robert, it was Tayler. The only thing she heard was sobbing.

“Dear? Where are you?”

“Hospital.”

“I am on my way, darling. I am on my way.”

Cora got to the hospital as quick as she could. Upon arriving she found her three girls sobbing in each others arms. She knew instantly, Daniel had died. She had that feeling when Tayler called but this confirmed it. She wrapped her arms around them and just stood there for a while.

“You girls can go and say goodbye to your father.” Michelle stepped into the room. “Oh hello Cora, thank you for comming.”

Cora touched her hand, when she walked out with her girls. She stood at the door when Victoria, Tayler and Olivia said goodbye.

“Mum? Do you want a moment alone with dad?” Victoria asked.

“Yes, please.” Cora sat down next to Daniel and waited for the door to close. She took his hand and kissed it. “I should hate you, but I can’t. We had good years together, in the beginning. Because of that we have three wonderful daughters. I don’t know what to say. I will miss you in their stories. They will miss you extremely. I promise I will take good care of them. Although I am in London, I will. They are grown woman now, and I wish you would had seen them get married and have children. You rest now my darling, goodbye.” She kissed his cheek and got up.

+++

The funeral service had been intimate. She invited Michelle over for a cup of tea, but she reclined. Victoria, Dan, Tayler, Sebastian, Olivia and Max were sitting in the living room, drinking a cup of tea.

“When are you going back to London?” Sebastian asked.

“I booked a flight for the day after tomorrow.” Cora answered.

“So soon?” Olivia said with a surprised face.

“Darling, I have to. My work is waiting and you girls will go on with your life. I can’t stay here, even though I would love to be here with you girls. Ava is also needing me.

“And Robert!” Tayler said.

Cora gave her a faint smile. “And Robert. I will make some more tea.” She said while standing up.

Victoria had followed her into the kitchen. “Is everything alright between you and Robert?”

“Don’t you worry about that.” Was Cora’s answer. “Can you bring in the cookies?”

Finding happiness again, chapter 20

A few weeks later.

Cora woke up because of Ava, who was crying. Carefully she stepped out of bed. Robert didn’t wake up. She was amazed how he could sleep through it. Cora walked into Ava’s room and when she noticed Cora, she started crying even harder.

“Sssst, it is alright. Are you hungry darling?” Cora picked her up and latched her on her breast. Ava settled down immediately and started drinking. She sat down in the rocking chair and started singing a song.
Swing low, sweet chariot,
coming for to carry me home.
Swing low, sweet chariot,
coming for to carry me home.
Cora knew the affect her voice had on Ava, she loved singing. When she was living with Daniel, she was scared to use her voice, but with Robert everything was different. She could be who she really was. One day she was in her atelier, softly singing when Robert entered. She stopped abruptly and felt ashamed. But Robert had encouraged her to go on. Cora was singing Dance with me from Beabadoobee.

Robert had taken her paintbrush out of her hand and took her hand to dance. His hand rested on her lower back, pulling her close. “I love your singing voice, and I really like you too.” Answering on the lyrics she was singing. They slowly moved around the atelier. Cora never had felt safer than that moment and Robert was the right man for her.

Ava had stopped drinking and had fallen back to sleep, Cora laid her down and got back to bed. She crawled closer to Robert and buried her face in his neck. Sleepily he wrapped his arm around her. “I love you.” Cora said very softly, Robert made a low sound.

+++

“Cora! Can you please do something about that crying?” Robert walked into the kitchen. Where Cora had Ava in her wrap carrier, close to her body, rocking her around.

“Darling, don’t cry, sssttt, don’t cry.” She murmured to Ava. Cora looked up to Robert. “What’s wrong, you don’t look good?” She stepped towards Robert and touched his forehead. “You are burning up!”

“I am alright, but please do something about Ava. I have a headache and this doesn’t help.”

Cora gave him a concerned look. “I don’t know what is wrong with her, she isn’t hungry, I just cleaned her. I will give her a warm bath. Are you sure you are alright? You do sound strange.”

Robert tried to hide a cough, but failed miserably. “I can’t hide it from you, so no, I am not alright, I feel rather sick.” He started coughing again.

“Oh dear, please go to bed, hopefully it is just a cold.”

Robert wanted to protest, but saw his wife’s face and knew better. Cora made a warm bath for Ava, and that seemed to settle her down. She finally stopped crying. Hopefully, she isn’t getting sick as well. Cora thought to herself. She put her into her crib and Cora went to check on Robert. He was awake and Cora saw his body shaking from the suppressed coughing.
“Darling, how long have you been hiding this cough for me?”

It took a while before Robert could answer. “A couple of days, I didn’t want to worry you.”

Cora put a cold wet cloth on his head. “You donk, please don’t do that again. I will make an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow, your cough sounds horrible, and I don’t like it that your temperature is this high.”

“No, don’t. I will take my rest and I will be fine, this is just a cold.” He touched Cora’s cheek. “I promise, I will be alright.”

+++

Robert had indeed not gotten worse. He was still coughing, but his temperature had gone done. Cora made sure he got enough fluids. Both were scared Ava would catch the same cold, but she stayed her happy little self.

Cora sat on the settee with Ava. “I can’t thank you enough for bringing my girls to London, when this little one was born.” She caressed Ava’s back. “It was so special to have them with me right after the birth.”

“Darling, I know how hard it is, that you are not with your girls. So, whenever I can, I will make sure you meet up.

Cora got up, still holding Ava in her arms, and walked over to Robert. She bent down to kiss him. He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her close. Cora almost lost her balance. “Be careful.” She chuckled.

She put Ava down on Robert’s chest and got next to Robert in bed. Wrapping her arm over Ava and Robert. “We have our own perfect world here, I am happy I came back to you.”

Robert’s hand was playing with Cora’s curls. “To bad you needed 24 years to realise it.” When he saw the look in Cora’s eyes, he kissed her. “But you are here now, and that’s important.” He pulled her closer. His hand moved to her hip. “Would you be up for a second one?”

Cora got up a little. “Robert! Ava is just 6 months, and don’t you think we are getting too old? You are turning 45 in a couple of weeks. And I am 43. I love you very much, but you are asking too much.”

“Maybe you are right.” He squeezed her hip. “But you are beautiful pregnant.”

Cora gave him a puzzled look. “You are saying, now I am not?”

Robert hadn’t realised what he said until Cora said that. “Oh my, no, I didn’t mean it that way. Dear Cora, you are beautiful. The most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on. You just had a special glow over you when you were pregnant.”

Cora chuckled. “I was only joking. Come, I will take Ava to bed and then we will go to sleep too.”

+++

Robert came home from work finding Cora and Ava in the living room. Ava was trying to crawl, she was growing up so fast. She was 9 months already. Cora was encouraging her to crawl towards her when she spotted Robert going into the kitchen, she called out to stop him.

“Why can’t I go into the kitchen?” Robert asked.

“Come here first, I want a kiss.” Cora said, standing up with Ava on her arm.

Robert gave her a passionate kiss. “Is this better?”

“Much!” She gave Ava to Robert. “Wait here a second” and walked into the kitchen.

She returned with a yellow bundle in her arms. Robert almost dropped Ava. He put her down and walked over to Cora. “You didn’t????”

“Come and meet Isis, your new dog.” Cora said with a big smile on her face. Handing over the little Labrador to Robert. She quickly picked up Ava before she could grab her coffee cup. “Isis is your late birthday present.”

“Hello little one.” Robert said with a high voice. “You are coming with me.” And he walked over to the terrace and sat down with Isis to play with her.

Cora watched the scene with so much love in her eyes. She walked over with Ava and sat down next to Robert.

Finding happiness again, chapter 19

“Mama, how does it feel to be pregnant?” Olivia asked.

“It is one of the best and one of the strangest things I experienced in my life. And at the same time it is painful, especially the last months.” She tried to sit in a different position, her back was really hurting. The little one was resting on her bladder, which was extremely uncomfortable.

“I can’t wait to experience it myself.” Olivia said, touching her mother’s belly.

Cora smiled. “First go and enjoy your time together with Max, there is so much time still. That also applies too you two.” Cora looked at Tayler and Victoria.

“Don’t expect a grandchild from me, Mama. Dan and I are not sure we want children.” Victoria said, while cutting into her steak.

“Darling, that is alright. You have a busy job and Dan is away a lot. Maybe one day, maybe not.” She tried to stretch her back a little.

“Mama?” Tayler said. “Are you alright?”

Cora gave her a smile. “I wish Robert had told me about the dinner. I would have laid down this afternoon. My back is just painful.” She took in a deep breath. “But, I am so happy to be with you girls again, I can manage the discomfort.”

“I am still not used to not have you close.” Olivia said while leaning into Cora’s shoulder.

Cora’s hand moved to Olivia’s head. “I feel the same way, darling. You girls are growing into adulthood, and I am not there to experience it.”

+++

After dinner they had walked back home. Although Cora was feeling rough, she wanted the fresh air. Her girls stayed at ‘The Ritz’ but walked their mother home.

“I am holding you girls up. I can manage walking home” she had said.

“We don’t have to be anywhere, and you really think we would leave you alone right now?” Victoria had said, taking Cora’s arm.

When they came home Robert wasn’t there. “He is still at John’s house I think. That is alright, I want to go to bed, so it doesn’t matter.” Cora said kissing her girl’s goodnight.

“Do you need some help?” Olivia said.

“Taking off my shoes would be very helpful dear.” Cora leaned heavily on Tayler when she lifted up her feet one by one, so Olivia could take her shoes.

They helped their mother to bed, tugged her in and said goodnight. Cora was asleep before they left the room.

+++

“Darling?” Cora called out from the balcony. It was mid-April and a lovely spring day.

Robert came running. “What is it? Is it starting?”

Cora smiled at him. “I just wanted to ask if you can bring me some water. The little one is incredibly active and hurting me today”

Robert returned with a glass of water. He kissed Cora’s belly: “We really want to meet you, can you please come? And if you decide to stay a little bit longer, stop hurting your mother.”

Cora chuckled. “Yesterday was my due date, I hope he or she will not wait too long.” She breathed in sharply.

Robert gave her a look of concern. “A kick or contraction?”

“I am not sure. Ooh, that hurts.” Cora’s face was all frowned up.

Robert didn’t know what to do. “Cora what if these are contractions, shouldn’t we go to the hospital?”

Smiling, Cora took Robert’s hands in hers. “Darling, calm down. If this is labour, it will take a while” The smile quickly got of her face when she felt that sharp pain again. “I think I will take a bath.”

“Just wait here, I will fill the bath right away.” When Robert returned, to help Cora up, she was holding her belly and one hand was on her back, she was breathing heavily.

“I don’t think I will make it to the bath, there is something wrong.” When she saw Robert’s face she said. “Wrong isn’t the correct word, but I think you are right, and I am having contractions.” She had to stop, to breath away one. “We better go to the hospital, this is going quick. I shouldn’t be this quick.”

“Darling! How long did you feel like this?”

“It started this morning, but it didn’t feel like labour. I thought I was having a bad back pain. The girl’s birth’s started differently.” She looked at Robert with concern in her eyes. “How did I not recognize this.”

The ride to the hospital had been difficult for Cora, she had gotten strong contractions that followed each other quickly. Robert had rushed through traffic. Robert opened the door for Cora, when she tried to get out of the car she got another contraction. “Stay here, I will get a nurse.” Robert said.

Two nurses came out to help Cora into a wheelchair, she was breathing away contraction after contraction. She didn’t have much time to prepare for the next one. She was rushed to a delivery room, after a quick examination, the nurse said she was 10 centimetres dilated and she would call the obstetrician. “Don’t push, just breathe them away, don’t push. Cora, you hear me, don’t push.” She said.

Robert was holding Cora’s hand. “Darling, breath, squeeze my hand. Don’t push, just breath.”

“I need to push, please let me push.”

Robert kept talking to her, making sure she wasn’t pushing. “Hold on a little bit longer, you can do this!’

When the obstetrician came in, Cora was finally allowed to push. It didn’t take long before they heard the cries of their newborn baby. “Congratulations, you have a baby girl.” The little girl was laid down on Cora’s chest. “You want to cut the umbilical cord?” He asked Robert.

Cora kissed her little girl. “How wonderful you are. You are perfect.”

The obstetrician told Cora to push one more time to get the placenta out. Robert was holding their little one. He looked down with so much love in his eyes. “You did wonderful darling, I am so proud of you. Look at our little girl, look at our Ava.” He kissed Cora.

“Will you let my girls know, that they can come?” She closed her eyes and rested back into the pillow.

“I will, but now, rest darling. You worked hard, the last hours. Oh darling, you don’t know how much I love you and how happy you have made me.”

Finding happiness again, chapter 18

Cora came back from delivering a painting. When a painting was small, she loved delivering it personally. In this case she had called first if it was alright. It was a painting of a family, but the little girl had recently passed away. Cora didn’t want to confront them with her big belly. She was 7 months pregnant, but she was the size as if she was full-term. Robert had joked she would not be able to walk soon. She had to admit her walking was more a wobble than a walk.

When she walked in their home she was taken back with the mess. Robert had made lunch, but didn’t clean up after himself, on the couch was the paper spread all over and the home needed to see a vacuum. So Cora started to clean the kitchen and living room. She was busy vacuuming when Robert came home.

“Cora, darling! You shouldn’t do that.” Cora was just trying to pick up a sock from the floor.

She managed to get up again, she rested one hand on her belly and the other on her back. Gave Robert a look and picked up the vacuum again.

Robert walked over and gently tried to take over the vacuum, but Cora wasn’t letting go.

“Darling, don’t do this. You are clearly having discomfort. This can’t be good for the baby.”

“This mess isn’t good for me. And if you don’t clean up after yourself, I have to do it!” Cora gave Robert a cold hard look. She swatted away Robert’s hand which rested on her side.

“I hired a cleaner, so you wouldn’t have to do the hard work.” Robert said unsure.

“I didn’t want that cleaner in the first place, but you have sent her home at the beginning of this week because she was having cold symptoms. Who do you think cleans up after you since Monday?” Cora’s voice was full of anger.

“I didn’t want her to bring her germs into our house, what if you get sick?”

“For heaven’s sake, I am pregnant, like thousands, millions of other women. A cold bug won’t kill me and……” she stopped her sentence abruptly when she felt a sharp pain.

Robert stepped towards her and touched her belly. “Are you alright, was that a contraction? That would be very early? I know this is your fourth pregnancy but still.”

Cora had recognized the pain as a kick from the baby. The baby just kicked in a painful spot. She stepped back. “It is nothing, but now you are here. You can finish the vacuuming.” Cora handed Robert the vacuum and walked away.

Robert wanted to follow, but knew not to, Cora was moody today and whatever he would say she would get angry.

+++

Cora had gone to bed, without saying a word to Robert. When Robert came to bed, she was asleep, he thought.

He got in bed and scooted closer, he laid his hand on her belly, but he got an angry reaction.

“Keep your hands of me, don’t touch me!”

Robert removed his hand quickly. “Cora, dear?”

“Don’t!” Cora’s voice was low.

Robert tried again, by moving closer, he rubbed her back. It didn’t had the affect he hoped for. Cora moved away from him, she even got up. She wrapped her bathrobe around her and walked out of the room. Leaving a stunned Robert behind.

Robert contemplated what to do, but he decided to get some sleep. Cora would come back. But when he woke up in the middle of the night, Cora wasn’t in their bed. He got up to look for her. He found her in her atelier on the couch. This couldn’t be comfortable he thought.

“Cora?” he softly touched her hand. He startled Cora, who let out a soft moan from pain. When she opened her eyes and saw Robert, her eyes shot fire.

“You don’t get the hint right?” she bitched.

“I think I do, but can you please sleep in our bed?”

“No.” Cora tried to stretch her body.

“I will sleep on the couch, you can have the bed. I will set up the beds in the guest bedrooms soon. Please, don’t sleep here.”

“Why are you always doing stuff too late. Those beds should be there months ago. If you had just let me do it!”

Robert didn’t say anything, he reached his hand out to Cora to help her up. When she stood, she pulled back her hand and said a quick: “Thank you.” Disappearing in their bedroom.

+++

Cora hadn’t spoken to Robert for two days. He moved around the house very quietly. Anxious to do or say something wrong. He had asked Rosamund for advice, but she just said, ‘Leave her be. She will come around.’

Robert tried to make life easier for Cora, but every time he took over something from her, he saw her fierce blue eyes shooting fire. Cora was wobbling around the house, he heard her sighs of pain, but he couldn’t do anything without getting an angry reaction. He felt useless.

Cora had gone to bed early that evening again. Robert needed clean clothes for the next morning and he stepped inside their bedroom. Trying not to disturb Cora when he heard her sobbing. He quickly got down next to their bed. “Cora? Cora what is wrong? My dear, what can I do.”

With a voice thick of tears Cora said:

“I am tired of my back hurting. I am tired of the swollen feeling in my legs. I am tired of being tired, I am tired of being pregnant.” With difficulty Cora turned around. “I am tired of being moody.” She touched his arm. “I am sorry, I know you mean well.”

Robert laid his hand on hers. “It is alright. I can’t imagine how it is, to carry around all that weight.” He wiped away a tear from her cheek. He saw a quick grimace on her face and she took a deep breath. “Is the baby very active?”

“He or she is. I feel like I am bruised from the inside.” Cora took his hand and laid it on her belly where she felt the last kick.

“There! I felt it.” Robert said with a big smile, but he pulled a straight face when he saw how much it was hurting her. “What can I do to help?”

“There isn’t much, I hope the baby will choose a different position soon, so it will kick on a different place. But what you can do, is ask me if I need help, instead of deciding I need it.”

Robert gave her a guilty look. “I am sorry, I just want to keep you and the baby safe.”

Cora stretched her neck to kiss Robert, he moved closer. “I know you do darling, but you can be a bit much some days.”

When Cora pulled another painful face, Robert got up and started massaging her lower back. He felt her body relax under his touches. He also rubbed her feet and legs and when he went back to her back, he felt she was falling asleep. He kept moving his hands over her back until she was asleep. He picked up the pregnancy pillow and moulded it to her back. She was already laying on the other one. He carefully laid himself down next to her.

+++

Cora was due in a week, she had trouble moving around. She stayed at home most of the time and was working on a painting. She had a lot of new clients and the work piled up. Even painting was getting harder with her big belly being in the way.

The door of her atelier opened and three heads popped around the corner. “Hello” said a voice.

It startled Cora, she had to steady herself to not fall of the stool. When she turned around she stared into three smiling faces. As quickly as she could she got up. “Girls! What are you doing here. What a wonderful surprise.”

Olivia took her arm and guided her to the armchair in the atelier. “Mum, please sit down. Robert called to ask if we wanted to be here when the little one is born.”

“Not during the birth.” Victoria chimed in, when she saw her mother’s scared face. “Just to be here after.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” Cora started. “I am just not comfortable with you girls being there when it is time for this little one.” Her hand caressed her belly.

“Don’t you worry mum, we don’t want to see that.” Tayler said. “But we want to be here to see our little brother or sister on the day it is born.”

“Ah you girls found your mother.” Robert stepped in the room. With his finger he brushed against Cora’s cheek. “Darling, are you up for dinner at a restaurant tonight?”

“As long as I don’t have to dress up, I am.” Cora said with a deep sigh.

“You are not going to ‘The Ritz’ just a local restaurant around the corner. It will be the last dinner with just your three girls as your children”

“You aren’t coming?” Cora said with surprise.

Robert kissed her. “No, I am not. This is your girl’s time.”

Finding happiness again, chapter 17

When they came home after the 12 weeks scan, Cora got into the kitchen to put on the kettle. Robert followed her. He put his hands on her abdomen. “How I wish we could have told our mum’s this news, Mama would had been excited!” Robert said.

Cora turned half around. “Are you sure? She wasn’t very keen when I was here 24 years ago.”

Robert blushed. “I know, but if she was still alive, she would had welcomed you with open arms.” Robert knew, that Violet would not have been so easy with accepting Cora. His mother was very strict with the old fashioned rules, marrying a divorced Woman was not done. “And your mother? Would she accept me?”

“To be honest? I don’t know. Although she was upset when I married Daniel, she would have loved for me to move to London, or in her words: marry a man with money. She didn’t like the fact, Daniel didn’t come from a wealthy family, she is the reason, we never married in community of goods. And I am so thankful, she made me do that. Although he basically lived from my money, his income wasn’t even enough to pay the mortgage.” Cora shrugged her shoulders. “Enough about him, he is in the past.”

Robert pulled her a little bit closer, with his hands still on her abdomen. “Are you sure you don’t want to know if this little one will be a boy or girl?”

“Darling, you don’t want to know, so I don’t want to know. Our little one will be a surprise.

+++

Cora was sitting in front of the fireplace. “Darling, I wish I could come, but I cannot fly back to America.”

“Oh right, that stupid baby!” Victoria said.

Cora gasped. “Victoria!”

“Mum, really, you and Robert have the worst timing.”

“You think we calculated this? So I would miss your graduation?” Cora swallowed away her tears. She felt Robert standing behind her. He softly laid his hand on her shoulder.

“Mama, I don’t know. I will talk to you later, I have to run. Bye.”

Cora took in a deep breath. Her hand caressing her slowly growing belly. Robert squeezed her shoulder. “She didn’t take that very well, I guess?”

“No.” Cora’s voice was shaking from her held back tears.

Robert sunk next to her and wrapped his arms around her. “You know, there is another way to go to New York, besides flying.”

Cora looked at Robert with red eyes. “You cannot possible mean by boat?”

“I definitely mean that. There are cruise ships making that trip, so it is possible. I will look into the options. Maybe we can hire a yacht with crew. Her graduation is in 2,5 months. A trip by boat will take us around 8 days, we can go there early, so you have time to recuperate from the trip. And we can leave after her graduation, so we will be back way before the baby’s due date. And of course, we aren’t telling anything to Victoria.”

“Darling, that will be so expensive, and how can you be away from work for so long? We will be away for a month.”

“Don’t you worry about my work, John can step in and Rosamund. And the money part, I told you before, you will never have to worry about that, it is there!”

Cora leaned her body into Robert’s “I love you!”

“I know you do, and you also love your daughters, so you need to be in New York when your eldest will graduate and will start her full time job at ‘Cadwalader’.” Robert’s hand moved to her belly. “This one isn’t stopping you from doing that.”

+++

Robert had indeed taken the time of from work and arranged a yacht with crew. They would sail day and night, so the trip would only take 6 days.

Unfortunately the trip had been hard on Cora. The third day she got motion sickness.

Robert found her next to the toilet, she had lowered herself to the ground. “Darling! I will help you up.” He took her arm.

“No, please just let me sit here. I know I will be back here in minutes.”

“Please get up darling and sit on the cough, I will bring you a bucket. And please take Dramamine.”

Before Cora could answer a wave of nausea hit her. Robert brushed her back and held up her hair. “I won’t take anything, what if it hurts the baby. I will be alright.” Cora gave Robert a faint smile.

“The captain expects the sea to be calmer the day after tomorrow.”

“I hope he is right.” Cora took Robert’s hand and got up from the floor.

The captain knew the sea and he was right, the rest of the trip was a lot smoother and Cora didn’t experience any motion sickness again after those two days. Although it had worn her out, Robert made sure she rested a lot. “There isn’t much else we can do on this boat, so just rest.”

+++

Robert helped Cora out of the taxi. She was almost 5 months pregnant and clearly showing. Cora steadied herself for a minute before climbing the stairs towards the front door. When they reached the front door, there was a scream from the street.

“Mama! What are you doing here!” Olivia came running towards them. “Oh my, look at you! Wait I thought you couldn’t fly?” Olivia hugged her mother tightly and gave Robert a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Let your mother go inside first.” He said

Olivia took Cora’s arm and togheter they walked in.

“I am not allowed to fly, you are right. My blood pressure is to high.” Cora saw Olivia’s scared face. “Not dangerously, but to high to fly safely.” She reassured her youngest. “So my dear Robert arranged a yacht and we came by boat.”

“Oh, how romantic and old fashioned.” Olivia’s face beamed.

“Well it wasn’t that romantic.” Robert chuckled.

Cora gave Robert a look. “Don’t tell everything.” She smiled.

“Does Victoria know you are here?”

“She doesn’t it is a surprise. Is she home tonight? Do you know?”

“In fact, I do, she isn’t home.” Cora’s face got sad for a second. Olivia continued fast. “She and Dan are dining with me and Max. You should come and join us.”

+++

Robert rang the doorbell, they heard Olivia’s voice: ‘Victoria can you please open the door, I am busy with the unions’

Victoria opened the door with an annoyed face, that quickly changed into a big smile. “Mama! You came! I can’t believe it, you said you wouldn’t” She wrapped both arms around Cora. “And look at you, you are so big already!” Victoria touched Cora’s belly.

“You have to thank Robert for that. He had the brilliant plan to come by boat.”

“No, you didn’t. That must have cost you a fortune.” Victoria said with big eyes.

“We don’t talk about money.” Robert said. “Your mother needed to be here.”

+++

The trip back to England had gone a lot easier, before they left, Cora made a visit to a doctor who said it was perfectly alright to take some Dramamine. Cora had really enjoyed the trip back. They even were accompanied by a group of dolphins one day.