Love isn’t always easy. Chapter 6

Robert knew he wasn’t making a smart decision, but he picked up the bottle of wine and wend over to Cora’s house. He didn’t know if she would be at home.

Cora opened the door, she was wearing dungarees and her hair was tight up with a colourful cloth. She had paint stripes on her cheeks. Behind one ear was a brush.

“Robert? Did I forget something?” She said shocked.

“No, no. I am here spontaneously.” Robert swallowed. “I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together. I enjoyed our time together at the ceremony so much. Do you have time?”

Cora made a soft sound, that sounded like. ‘awww.’ She opened the door further. She brushed her hands against her dungarees. “Come in, come in. I am sorry for the way I look.”

Robert grinned. “Don’t you worry. Actually, you look kinda cute.”

“Are you flirting with me?” Cora raised her eyebrows.

“What if I am?”

Cora shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I will change my clothes, just wait in the sitting room.” Cora rushed upstairs. Her mind was spinning. What was he doing here. Why was he flirting with her. He was the one who insisted on the divorce. Was this all because she made advances on that evening of the ceremony?

She was standing in front of her closet, what should she wear? She decided for a simple jeans and blouse. She put a clip in her hair to tame her curls. Quickly she sprayed some perfume, checked herself in de mirror and went done.

Robert had found cheese and sausage in the fridge and made a plate. “I hope you don’t mind?” He said pointing at the cheese.

“No, no, it’s alright.” Cora lingered in the doorway.

“Come sit down.” He put his hand on the couch.

Cora decided to sit on the chair opposite of him instead. “Why are you here?” She asked.

Robert smiled at her. “I realised, how much I miss you and I thought maybe, we can start with spending more time together.”

“Start?” Cora said with raised eyebrows.

“We will see where it leads us, right?”

Cora gave in, there was no harm in spending more time together. She had to admit, she missed his company too. “I was planning on watching a movie tonight. We can watch it together?” She suggested.

+++

Robert had scooted closer to Cora during the movie. She had moved to the couch. Her head was resting on his shoulder.

Suddenly the front door opened and voices filled the hallway.

Cora jerked up, blushing.

“Papa?” It was Mary who stepped inside the room first, Sybil followed her.

Cora stood. “We were just watching a movie together.” She said apologetic.

“You don’t have to explain to us. You and Papa are allowed to spend time together.”

Sybil looked from her father to her mother. It made her happy to see them together again, but it also made her anxious.

Robert also got up. “I think it is time for me to go home.” He put his hand on Cora’s lower back and kissed her cheek.

Cora gave him a smile and briefly touched his arm. “Thank you for tonight.”

“I will let myself out.” Robert kissed his girls on the cheek and left.

“Girls? Why are you here at this time at night?”

“Mary, forgot her handbag last week in her room. We are on our way out to a party.”

Cora looked at her watch, it was 23.00 o’clock. “At this time? Where are you going?”

“Oh Mama, if I hadn’t forget my handbag here, you wouldn’t know we were going out.” Mary said annoyed.

“That is right, but now I know.”

“Sybil is 18, I am 21. We are old enough to go out.”

Cora sighed. “I know, I know and I did the same when I was your age. Don’t mind me. Enjoy you time out.” She kissed her girls on the cheek, picked up the wine glasses and proceeded to clean up the coffee table. “Are you sleeping here? Or at home?” She asked Sybil.

“At home or at Mary’s. It depends what time it will be when we go home.”

“Oke, good to know. I will not wait for you than. Enjoy.”

Cora got upstairs after cleaning up the kitchen. She curled up into a ball and tried to catch some sleep, but it wasn’t easy tonight to clear her head.

+++

“Do you think Mama and Papa will go back together again?” Sybil asked Mary.

Mary frowned. “I don’t know. We shouldn’t get out hopes up.”

Sybil shrugged. “You know, although they fought a lot. I would love to see them back together. I miss our family.”

Mary wrapped her arm around Sybil. “I know you do, I do too. Luckily we have each other. Come we are going to have fun.”

+++

Robert stepped inside his own home. He had hoped the evening would have ended differently. He wasn’t expecting the girls to step inside. But maybe this was for the best. Was it wise, he was trying this. He was the one who threw the towel and made the decision it was time to separate. Did that mean he was also the one who could initiate them coming back together. Was that what he wanted?

He didn’t know what he wanted. He only knew he missed Cora’s warmth next to him in bed. Coming home and smelling her perfume. Finding her in the shower in the evening. Seeing her cook dinner together with the girls. Dancing around the house with her. Hearing her sing along with the radio. Seeing her helping the girls with their home work.

He took a warm shower to clear his head and got in bed. He fell asleep almost directly, with Cora’s smell still in his nose, he was sure to have a wonderful dream.

 

Love isn’t always easy. Chapter 5

Cora woke up to a very familiar smell, Robert always had a deep musky smell in the morning. She opened her eyes and was shocked to see Robert next to her. Her head was pounding, she definitely drank too much last night. Slowly her memory came back, she was seductive to Robert, but she didn’t remember they did something. Why was he in her bed, and why was she naked? She sniffed up his smell, it made her all warm inside. She knew very well why they divorced, but this moment made her doubt their decision.

Quietly she got out of bed. Put on a pants and shirt, and went downstairs. She needed breakfast, so she could take a painkiller for her pounding head.

“Good morning, Mama.” Sybil’s voice greeted her, when she walked into the kitchen. All three of her girls were sitting at the kitchen table.

“Did you all sleep here?” She asked in surprise.

“We did, we watched the ceremony together and decided to wait for you, but it got so late, we went to bed.” Mary said.

“Mum, did we hear it correct? Did Papa call you his wife?”

Cora’s cheeks coloured. “He did, he said it was out of habit. It doesn’t mean anything. If you girls excuse me, I forgot something upstairs, will be back soon.”

“Do you want breakfast?” Sybil called after her.

“Yes please.” Cora hurried back upstairs. Robert couldn’t come downstairs right now, not with the girls in her home.

+++

She sat down next to Robert and softly touched his arm. “Robert, wake up.”

He moaned softly but opened his eyes. She saw the same confusion in his eyes, as she felt when she woke up. “Sssstt, don’t make too much sound.”

“Why not?” He sat up.

“The girls stayed the night here at my home. So they are downstairs in the kitchen.”

Robert frowned. “If they see me, they will think we are back together.”

“I guess we are not, right?” Cora asked softly.

Robert took her hand. “I loved every minute of last night, but we made the decision 4 years ago not light hearted. We talked about it for a long time before we signed the papers.”

Cora lowered her eyes. “I know, but sometimes I wonder……”

“I am happy we are back to talking normally again.”

Cora chuckled. “I think I went a bit to far last night, did we do something?” Her cheeks bright red.

Robert kissed her cheek and put his hand in her neck. “No, we didn’t and lets just say, that was your present for me winning the award.” He chuckled, but suddenly stopped.

“What?” Cora asked.

“My car. It’s on the driveway, the girls will recognize it.”

“Well, than you better come downstairs and we just say, you slept here because it was very late already.”

“Our girls, are too clever for that lie, but we don’t have another option. I will come down soon. But first I will take a shower.”

+++

Cora was just eating her breakfast, Sybil had made a full English for her, when Robert entered the kitchen.

“Papa.” All three girls said together.

“Good morning girls, that is a first. All of us in this kitchen.”

Cora tried to not look at him or the girls. She focused on her eggs.

“Does this mean? Are you and Mama….” Edith started.

“I drove your Mama home last night, after helping her with the dress, it was late and I decided to sleep here. Is there more of that delicious breakfast?”

Sybil got up. “I will make more, Mama always has food for a whole orphanage.”

Robert smiled and sat down. “That’s your, Mama for you.”

+++

Robert had left in the early afternoon, and Cora had gone to her atelier in the garden, to work on a project.

She was listening to music, when the door opened. Mary poked her head around the corner. “Do you have a minute?”

“Of course darling, come in.” Cora smiled at her. She loved the days Mary stayed at her home, although she was working in her atelier.

“About last night.”

Cora took a deep breath, she knew Mary would come back on this.

“I know, what you think. but we aren’t back together.”

Mary looked at her with her intense dark eyes. Something Cora never understood but learned later on, that even if the parents both have blue eyes, a child can have brown eyes. “Mum, if it is the case, that would be alright. For Sybil, Edith and me it doesn’t matter. In fact, we cheered last night when Papa called you his wife.”

“I know you girls, would love to see us back together again, but don’t get your hopes up.”

Mary walked over to Cora and gave her a hug. “Do what makes you happy Mama.” She kissed her cheek and walked out of the room. “I am going back home, Matthew wants to go out for dinner tonight.”

“Have fun, darling.” Cora stayed behind with a strange feeling. She really wanted to feel Robert last night and she truly missed him. At the same time she knew it wouldn’t work out. Too much time had passed.

+++

“Why did you call her your wife?” Violet said, when Robert paid her a visit.

Robert sighed. His Mama never really liked Cora. She was to American, she always said. But Robert knew better, Cora wasn’t the typical American girl. She fitted perfectly in the British society, and especially in the upper class. She had a natural elegance, what a lot of real British woman lacked.

“I am talking to you, Robert!” Violet demanded.

“Sorry, Mama. I called her my wife out of habit. It didn’t mean anything. I bloody well know we are divorced. Anything else you want to scold me for, otherwise I will go on with my day.”

Violet blinked rapidly. She wasn’t used to Robert talk back to her. That was definitely Cora’s influence. It was better they divorced, Robert should find a new wife. He couldn’t stay single, he was still young enough to find a new love.

 

Love isn’t always easy, chapter 4

You truly look amazing.” Robert said offering Cora his arm, while walking towards the entrance.

“I can only say the same thing about you.” Cora gave him a radiant smile. “Thank you.”

They were guided to their seats. Cora leaned into Robert. “Are you nervous?”

“A little bit yes, what if I win, I need to speech.”

Cora smiled at him and touched his arm. “You will do fine, I bet Edith helped you with a speech?”

“She did indeed. Thank you for being here tonight.” Robert smiled back at Cora.

“Of course I am here. Sttt. it is starting.”

+++

“Can you see mum and dad?” Sybil asked her sisters.

“Yes, yes, they are there, awww look at hem.” Edith exclaimed.

“Mama, looks so happy.” Sybil said.

“They both look happy.” Mary said.

+++

“And the winner is……………. Robert Crawley.”

A loud applause rose and filled the room. Robert walked towards the stage and started his speech.

He ended with: “I have to thank my wife Cora, she made it possible for me to let the business grow and flourish the way it does these days. My girls are a huge inspiration to work harder every day.” He walked offstage and joined Cora again.

She smiled with a sheepish smile at him.

When the ceremony was done, all the tables and chairs were put aside, a band started playing and there was room for dancing. Robert put out his hand as an invitation for Cora to dance with him. Of course she accepted. She loved dancing with him, their body’s fitted perfectly.

“Do you regret divorcing me?” Cora asked softly.

Robert looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Where does that question come from?”

Cora chuckled. “You called me your wife in your speech.”

Robert’s cheeks coloured. “Did I? I think out of habit. I am sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s alright.” Cora laid her head on his shoulder. She was getting drunk she noticed, every time when her glass was empty it was filled with wonderful champagne again. It was good they were on the dance floor, she couldn’t get a new drink here.

After a while Robert guided her back to their seats. “I can’t thank you enough, for being here.” He said.

Cora kissed his cheek. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Robert noticed she was talking with a double tongue. “We should go home.” He said.

“Are you sure? We could dance some more?” Cora got up and pulled Robert with her to the dance floor.

The party kept going until late in the evening and all the time Cora was in Robert’s arms.

+++

“Careful.” Robert said when Cora almost tumbled out of the car. He rushed around the car to help her to the door. He watched her walk further in. She turned around. “I need help getting of this dress, do you want to help?”

Robert stepped inside. “Of course, hop, upstairs with you.”

Giggling, Cora walked up. Robert had to catch her twice, because she stumbled. He had to laugh internally, Cora never was good with alcohol, but she was so funny drunk. He pulled the zipper of her dress down and turned around to give her some privacy.

“You can look now.” Cora said.

Robert turned around and was shocked. There she was standing in front of him, without any clothes on. He felt his body react on the sight. He had always loved her shape. She was slender, but had the perfect rounding’s. Her small breast were still firm. Her belly had a slight bulge from carrying their children. Her hips were irresistible.

“You like what you see?”

“Oh Cora, you know I do. Please put on some clothes.” He lowered his eyes.

Cora stepped towards Robert, her hand caressing his cheek, lowering to his neck and chest. “I miss your touch.” She said, softly kissing his neck.

Robert’s hands moved automatically towards her hips. He felt her warm skin, so incredibly soft. Her hot breath on his skin, aroused him. He knew he should be the wiser person now, Cora was drunk and didn’t know what she was doing. He should stop this.

Cora’s hands worked on the buttons of his shirt, she managed to reach his skin and her fingers played with his chest hair. She moved her kisses back up, kissing his jawline, moving to his cheek bones, his nose and finally she touched his lips.

She slightly parted her lips and touched him with the tip of her tongue. Robert’s whole body tingled. His hands were still resting on her hips, but started to move up over her back. Cora pressed her body against Robert’s. While holding him close, she stepped backwards toward the bed. She tried to pull him down.

Slowly he moved with her until, she was lying on her back. She stretched her neck to kiss him again. Softly he pushed her head down. His hands on her shoulders. He saw her close her eyes and before she realised it herself, she was asleep. Robert pulled up the duvet and tugged her in. He sat down and looked at her. Her face was like that of an angel. It amazed him how she didn’t age. She still had that youthful look. Some wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, but those were from her smiling all the time. It was a rare occasion when he had seen her mad. Well no, he should not lie to himself. He had seen her mad face, her ice blue eyes could kill and she tried to kill him several times with them. It was a strange sensation, but in a way he missed fighting with her. Especially in the beginning, their fighting always ended up, upstairs. He chuckled and got up from the bed. He felt Cora’s hand grab his.

“Don’t go,” she murmured.

He contemplated for a second, the smartest choice was going home, but decided to get in on the other side. He undressed himself to his underwear. They would see what would happen in the morning.

When Cora felt him get in the bed, she turned towards him and put her hand on his arm.

 

Love isn’t always easy. Chapter 3

Robert climbed in bed, why did he touch Cora in that way? He didn’t know himself. Out of habit, he followed her to the kitchen. Her smile was mesmerising, still. Even after 4 years of divorce, he had a soft spot for her.

He wondered what she was going to ask, when Edith entered the kitchen. Should he text her? And ask?. He figured it was better not to do that. There was a reason they were divorced.

He turned around and immediately was fast asleep.

+++

“Mum, you look amazing! What is the occasion?” Mary asked, when walking into her bedroom.

“Mary, darling, I didn’t know you were coming?” Cora was trying on her outfit for Robert’s ceremony this Saturday.

“Mary, kissed her mother’s cheek. I know, I just wanted to see my mother. I really like this colour on you.”

Cora turned around. “Do you think your father agrees?” She was wearing a peach coloured pants and a flower designed blouse.

Mary gave her a surprised look. “Why should Papa need to like this?”

Now it was Cora’s turn to look surprised. “The award ceremony for businessman of the year, is this Saturday right?”

“Uhm, yes.” Mary stuttered. “But the dress-code is white tie. You are a bit to colourful foe that.”

“White tie?” Cora exclaimed. “Your father didn’t tell me there was a dress code. I don’t have a proper dress. Now I have to find time to go shopping.” She sighed. “Your father never changes.”

“We can go tomorrow evening together?”

Cora took Mary’s hand. “Thank you darling, that makes it a lot easier, I can use your eye for fashion. Do you want to eat dinner here?”

“If that isn’t to much of a bother? Mathew is working late.”

Cora squeezed Mary’s hand. “It is never a bother to cook a meal for my daughter. Let’s see what I have.”

+++

Once Mary left, Cora gave Robert a call.

“When were you going to tell me about the dress code?” Cora shouted through the phone ones Robert picked up.

“I, I.” Robert stuttered.

“For your convenience, you just forgot. Or did you thought, me attending in a totally wrong outfit would be funny?”

“Cora, I didn’t do this to embarrass you, I really thought I told you. I am sorry. Do you have time to find a dress? I can send a tailor to your home

Cora took a deep breath. She didn’t know why she got this mad, it wasn’t like her to react in this way, she noticed she reacted more emotional recently. “You don’t have to do that. I am sorry for shouting at you. I will go shopping with Mary tomorrow.”

“I bet you will turn up in something stunning. See you on Saturday, I will pick you up around 18.00 o’clock.” He hang up the phone.

Cora felt a little bit guilty for the way she reacted, but she would have looked like a fool in her colourful pants and blouse, when all the woman would show up in floor-length dresses.

+++

Mary gasped and had to force her mouth shut. Cora stepped out the dressing room in a Blue metallic-weave cape-effect gown from Talbot Runhof’s. It was crafted from intricate blue mesh decorated with light-catching metallic threads, the exquisite floor-length style was elegantly tailored to her slim silhouette, worked with a dramatic cape-effect overlay.

“You will be the most beautiful woman in that room, Mama.” Mary said

Cora blushed. “Thank you darling. Isn’t this to much?”

“Definitely not, you should wear long sleeve gloves with it, to finish off the look and maybe put your hair into a chignon style?”

Cora smiled at Mary, she loved how enthusiastic she could be when Cora was dressing up for a party. It was a long time ago that she went to one. The last party was when she was still married to Robert.

+++

“Are you nervous for tonight?” Edith asked while handing the gloves to her mother.

“Don’t be daft.” Mary said.

Cora gave Mary a look of disapproval. “Why should I be nervous darling?”

“Well, it is your first evening together with Papa, since the divorce.”

Cora smiled. “It is strange to go out together, but I am looking forward to it. I think your father and I are now at that point where we can be just friends.

Mary chuckled.

“Girls, thank you for helping me tonight.” Cora said ignoring Mary. “Is Sybil helping Papa?”

“She is, and they should be here any minute.” Edith said.

Soon after the doorbell rang, Mary went to open the door and Sybil and her father stepped inside, looking rather sharp in his tuxedo. His black tailcoat, black waist high trousers, stiff white evening shirt, white evening waistcoat and cufflinks made him look 10 years younger.

“Mama, is almost ready.” Mary said.

Cora walked towards him, eyeing him from top to bottom. “You look rather handsome.” She said.

“You don’t look bad yourself.” He answered and kissed her cheek. He touched her hair jewellery. “This is beautiful.” Robert offered Cora his arm and guided her to the car.

‘You gave me this hair piece on our 12,5 years anniversary.’ Mary heard her mother say

“Look at them.” She said to Edith.

“Some days I wonder, why they are divorced.” Edith said.

“I heard them yelling over the phone a couple days back, what reminded me why they are divorced.” Sybil said, closing the door behind her.

“I remember the regular fights, but I also remember the sweet moments between them. Papa can be so romantic. We can only hope our boyfriends are like Papa.” Mary said.

“Matthew, Bertie and Tom all have something from dad.” Edith said.

Mary gave her a strange look.

“I am using the wrong words.” Edith sighed. “They all have traits that Papa also has.”

Both her sisters nodded. “Who wants a cup of tea?” Mary said, walking into the kitchen.

“What channel will be the award ceremony?” Sybil asked.

“It will be a livestream, I linked my phone to Mama’s television, we should be able to watch the ceremony that way. 

Love isn’t always easy. Chapter 2

“Robert?” Cora answered her phone in surprise. Robert never called her, communication was always via their girls or over text. “Something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing is wrong. I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner this Friday?”

Cora raised her eyebrows and sat down. “You want me, to come over for dinner?” There must be something wrong, she thought.

“The girls will be there too,  and I am inviting Rosamund and Mama.”

Reluctantly Cora agreed to come over. It was the first time after their divorce she was eating in that house again. She decided to call Rosamund.

“Do you know, what is going on with Robert.” She asked when Rosamund picked up the phone.

“I have no clue, but I am amazed he invited you, but mostly that he did that himself.”

Cora chuckled. “You brother is a strange one, we will see on Friday.”

+++

“Mum, I am happy you are coming on Friday.” Sybil said while stuffing her mouth with potatoes.

Cora gave her an annoyed look. “Can you not eat and talk at the same moment.”

Sybil swallowed. “I am sorry mama.”

“Do you know why your father wants me to be there?”

Quickly Sybil put another bite in her mouth and shook her head in denial.

Cora loved it when her girls came unannounced for dinner, she learned to cook for at least two people, so they always had dinner at her place.

+++

Cora put her book down, she wasn’t able to concentrate on it. What was it that Robert needed to tell? Why did he invite everybody at his home?

She felt something stir deep inside her, that she hadn’t for a long time. Did she still love Robert? They separated, because they were fighting all the time. But did she do the right thing. Why didn’t she just accept the fact Robert didn’t include her in everything. She remembered the day he asked her to marry him, they were on a holiday in Scotland. Out of nowhere, while they were walking along Loch Lomond, he got down on his knee and asked her to marry him. She had been overjoyed and said yes in the same second. She remembered the passionate kiss and romantic night they had afterwards.

Mary was born pretty quickly after their marriage and Edith had announced herself right after. It took them some more time to conceive with Sybil. It wasn’t the problem, that they weren’t intimate. She blushed by the memories. After three years, they finally were blessed with a third child. How lucky and happy they had been. Robert adored his girls, that hadn’t changed, except that Cora wasn’t one of his girls anymore.

Things changed, Robert was never the talker, but he kept saying, that she wasn’t to be bothered with, when she asked something about the company. At first, she had tried to work together with Robert, but she soon figured it was better, when she stayed out of it. She started painting, something she loved doing from a young age, and people discovered her. Now she was spotted all around London. Big companies had artwork from her hand and even some rich Londoners had her work.

She got up from her chair and decided to go to bed, tomorrow she would know why Robert invited her.

+++

Mary looked at her dad. He was changing his shirt for the third time. She stepped towards him. “Dad, why are you nervous? Is it because Mama is coming for dinner? You invited her yourself.”

Robert smiled, he was indeed nervous. What was going to happen. He had stayed in their home, and this was the first time they would be together with the whole family after the divorce. “Your mother always liked this shirt.”

Mary raised her eyebrows. “Why did you and mama separate?”

Robert shrugged his shoulders. “We couldn’t find a way to make it work anymore.”

“Both of you speak very fondly of each other, that’s why I wonder.”

“Sometimes, things aren’t as easy as they look. You remember the fights we had, I guess?” Robert looked at Mary.

“Yeah, I do. But that’s just a matter of better communication.”

“Darling, you aren’t going to get your mother and father together anymore. Too much time has passed.”

Mary chuckled and thought ‘we will see’

+++

“Hello Cora.” Violet let Cora kiss her on the cheek, but she was very distant.

“Hello Mama.” Cora still called her Mama out of habit.

Violet huffed and turned around to face Mary, who gave her mother an apologising look.

Edith and Sybil came out of the kitchen. “Dinner is ready.”

Cora sat down in between Mary and Sybil, she was facing Robert and she got the feeling her girls did that on purpose.

Rosamund winked at her and gave her a reassuring smile.

“I invited you all over, because I have some news.” Robert said.

Cora’s heart sunk to the bottom, he was ill….

“I am nominated for businessman of the year.” He continued.

Cora had to force herself not to sigh from relief. Why did she think that though, he would never had told that like this?

Robert received congratulations from his Mama and Rosamund. He looked at Cora. “I want to invite you to that evening as my plus one, because you are a big part in how the company grew over the years.”

Cora coloured. “Are you sure? You can also take Rosamund or Mama?”

“I know, but I want you there.” He got up and announced that dinner was over.

Out of habit Cora started to clean the table and walked to the kitchen. Soon after Robert followed her.

“I am sorry, I put you on the spot just now.” He said.

Cora smiled. “It came out of the blue, but I will be more than happy to accompany you.”

Suddenly Robert put his hand on her hip and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

Cora was shocked by how familiar this felt. Being in this kitchen together with Robert. The voices of the family on the other side of the door. She dried of her hands and turned around to face Robert.

“Do you also sometimes wonder….” she started but the kitchen door opened and Edith step inside.

“Oh, I am sorry, did I interrupt?” She said.

“No, no, your father and I were just talking.”

“Alright, grandmamma, was asking if the coffee still needed roasting.”

Cora chuckled, Violet always had a sharp tongue. She noticed Mary having the same sharpness sometimes.

“We will talk about the details later.” Robert said walking back into the living room with the coffee.

Cora let out a deep sigh, why did this moment feel so good. Did she really miss Robert? She shook her head and followed into the living room with some biscuits.

 

Love isn’t always easy. Chapter 1

We meet the family when Cora and Robert are divorced after a marriage of 18 years. Why did they divorce? Is there still love? Robert 44, Cora 41, Mary 21, Edith 20, Sybil 18

Robert fixed his tie, he was preparing for a busy day at the office. Real estate had always been good business, but with the growing economy, his company was flourishing.

Mary entered his office. “Dad, you look fine.”

Robert smiled at his eldest daughter. “I can say the same thing about you. That suit is amazing.”

“The client is waiting, you ready?” Mary asked.

“Definitely. Today you will be the lead. Good luck.” Robert was incredibly proud how his daughter was developing. At the beginning of this year Mary had asked to be more involved in his work. He had always hoped one of his daughters would follow in his footsteps. She was still studying, but now worked partly in the office.

Edith was an editor for a magazine and Sybil was learning to become a nurse in a hospital. All three of them made him proud.

“Oh dad, tonight Mathew and I will stay for dinner, is that alright?” Mary asked while walking out of his office.

Robert frowned. “I am not sure, I have enough food at home.”

“I will ask Mathew to pick up something, he has just two-house showings today.”

Another person who made Robert proud. Mary and Mathew were dating for two years now, he will join the company as soon as they married.

His phone rang. “Edith?” He said answering.

“Dad, are you at home tonight?” Edith asked.

“I will be, but…”

Edith interrupted. “Good, Bertie and I will come after dinner.”

“Your sister, is already coming.” He tried, but she was already gone.

He scratched his head, why was she coming, well he would find out tonight.

+++

When Robert finally went home, he found Sybil in the kitchen.

“Darling, what are you doing home this early?” He asked surprised, kissing her cheek.

“We wanted to surprise you.” Edith came around the corner.

Robert raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

“You are nominated businessman of the year.” Tom said. “Congratulations.”

Robert looked at them in shock. “That is unexpected.”

“But well-deserved papa, you worked hard for it.” Mary said hugging her father.

+++

Cora changed the bedding in the guest bedroom. Rosamund was coming over for the weekend. She loved that her sister-in-law still came over. When she and Robert filed for divorce, she was afraid of losing her best friend. But Rosamund had said, it wouldn’t change a thing.

She let out a deep sigh, they were divorced for four years now. She wished their lives had gone different, but it was better this way. From the start of their marriage Robert had often said: “oh that’s nothing to bother you with.” She started to not include Robert in her thoughts and slowly they grew away from each other. Cora had tried to make it work until the girls would be old enough, they made it until Sybil was 14, in Cora’s eyes still too young, but they had arguments almost every day and that wasn’t healthy. Not for them, but especially not for the girls.

All three had stayed with Robert in their family home. Cora moved out, to the other side of London. Robert loved the busy life inside the city, and she enjoyed the more peaceful quite on the west side of London.

All the girls had their own bedroom in her house, and every other weekend they had spent their weekend with her. In the last year, all three found their boyfriends. Sybil met Tom, he was a mechanic in the hospital. Edith met with Bertie, he had been a guest writer for the magazine she was working for. Mary met Mathew at a family weekend, he was a far-removed family member. At first Cora had her doubts, but he was a very sweet natured man, and the family ties were nothing to worry about.

“Are you going to let me in?” Cora heard through the letterbox. It was Rosamund, she hurried to open the door.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t hear the bell.” Cora embraced her sister-in-law.

Rosamund held up a bottle of wine. “Ready for a fun weekend?”

“With just one bottle?” Cora joked.

Rosamund laughed and held up a bag. “You are more English than you want to admit. I have more than one of course.”

Cora hooked her arm in Rosamund’s. “Come we will sit in the garden, I made a cheese board to enjoy with the wine.”

+++

“Dad? Are you going to invite Mama to the ceremony? Mary asked while they were working in the office.

Robert frowned, he hadn’t thought about that.

“Because I think you should.”

“You do?” Robert asked.

“Mama, supported you all these years, and because of her you were able to build the business into what it is today.” Mary said.

“Hold on, I did the work.”

“Papa, come on! You can’t deny Mama’s hand in this. She always supported you.”

Robert frowned even deeper.

“I still don’t understand why you two are divorced.”

“That is something between your mother and me. Now let’s focus on our work again, did you see the request we got in today?”

“The selling of that million pounds house? I did, but you are changing the subject.”

“Mary, I am not discussing the divorce with you. I will think about inviting your mother.”

“She will be hurt, if you don’t tell her yourself and she has to find out via the papers.”

Robert closed his desktop and said. “So, and now we are going to enjoy our Saturday, we did enough work for this week.

+++

“Bertie? Do you think we should cover Papa’s story in the magazine?”

Bertie looked up, he was busy with his miniature trains. “It’s not really something we normally write about, but why not.”

Edith smiled and walked over. “We will make a multi-page interview with a photoshoot. We can write about raising three strong daughters and being a business owner?”

“Sounds interesting, I will work on it, in the next days. Now let’s enjoy the weekend, stop talking about work. He got up and kissed Edith. “You are exactly like your father, a workaholic.

Edith chuckled, but also reminded herself that her father’s work attitude was one of the reasons, her parents got divorced.

 

Going on without you. Chapter 4

Jules entered Cora’s bedroom again, when she finished helping her get dressed and carried suitcases inside. She looked at the ground and tried to avoid looking at Cora.

“My daughter, is really serious about this.” She said frowning.

“You are correct, I am serious.” Mary followed Jules.

Cora stepped towards Mary and took her hands in hers. “Darling, can we talk about this.”

Mary pulled back her hands and wanted to say something, when she got interrupted by Andy who opened the door. “Milady, Tom Branson is waiting downstairs for you.”

“Jules, can you please start packing?” Mary said while walking out the room.

+++

“What brings you here?” Mary said when she greeted Tom.

“I was passing by and thought I would check in. I miss Downton sometimes.”

“I miss having you around.” Mary touched his arm, do you want tea?

Tom waited for Andy to leave the room before he started. “I can’t lie to you, Mary.”

Mary gave him a surprised look.

“I am here because of what is happening. Why do you force your mother to move?”

“Who told you this?” Mary looked upset.

“Never mind that, why are you doing this? Your mother needs time.” Tom looked Mary directly in the eye. “She always gave you and me space to grief.”

“Darling Sybil.” Mary said, lowering her eyes.

“I lost my wife, you lost your sister, but your Mother lost her daughter. Imagine losing Caroline.” Tom said. “And now she lost her husband.”

“I lost my husband to and you just said you lost your wife. We went on with our lives.”

Tom stared at her, what happened that she was this cruel. She always had been hard, but even for Mary this was strange behaviour. She was sitting opposite of him, he got up and sat next to her. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “It is alright to grief your father.” He said softly, when he felt Mary’s shoulders shutter.

The door to the library suddenly opened and a flustered Andy stood in the doorway. “Milady, you should come, it is her Ladyship.”

Tom and Mary gave each other a frightful look and rushed upstairs. There they found Jules sitting on her knees in front of Cora, who was visibly gasping for air and gripping her chest.

“Mama!” Mary fell on her knees before Cora, who gave her a faint smile. “Dr. Robb is on his way. Do you want to lay down.”

Cora shook her head, she didn’t want to move. Every movement hurt her.

Dr. Robb rushed in with paramedics. Cora was placed on a stretcher and carried outside. She was slipping in and out of conciseness.

She remembered that evening Robert was rushed to the hospital. They had dinner with the minister of health, when suddenly Robert’s ulcer burst and he covered her in blood. She was scared out of her mind, she was going to lose him. His words were still ringing in her ears. “If this is it, just know that I have loved you very, very much.”

She saw his face when she gave birth to Edith. Not a hint of disappointment, while she was feeling guilty. The same thing happened with Sybil, she was apologising and he was only looking at her and Sybil with love and adoration.

+++

Cora woke up not knowing where she was, she felt a hand in hers. She gave it a squeeze. “Mama?” It was Mary’s voice. “Oh, mama. I am so sorry. This is my fault.”

Cora shook her head and squeezed Mary’s hand again. “No.” Was the only thing she said.

“I blamed you for daddy’s death.” Mary pressed her mother’s hand against her cheek. It was the hand of an old lady. Her mother had always been slender, and now her hands were more bones than flesh. Nonetheless she still felt the same strength she always felt when she hold her mother’s hand.

Because of Mary’s words Cora thought about the night Robert died. They were just back home from America, Harold, her brother, had died and they went to his funeral. During the trip back home Robert had gotten an infection in his lungs. Back home his breathing got faint and he was rushed to the hospital. It was too late, they couldn’t help him anymore and he died that same night. Mary, Edith and Tom with their family, barely made it in time to say goodbye.

“Mary, what do you mean by that.” Cora heard Tom’s voice.

“He got that infection because he went to America with Mama.” Mary said softly.

“Your father died, because it was his time.” Tom put his hand on Mary’s shoulder.

“I know and I feel stupid for blaming Mama.” Mary looked at her mother’s face. She felt this was the last time she would look into her eyes. “Tom, can you make sure everybody is coming as fast as possible to the hospital?

Mary felt her mother’s hand moving and looked back at her. “Oh mama.” The rest of the words were stuck.

Cora opened her mouth.

“Mama, don’t talk, it is alright.”

Cora shook her head and squeezed her hand again. “I don’t blame you for anything. My love will always be with you.”

Mary bend down and kissed her mother’s cheek, she felt her hand on the back of her head pulling her close. She rested her head on her mother’s chest and could hear her heartbeat slow down.

+++

“Take my hand darling.” Cora was standing infront of a small bridge, Robert stretched out his hand. “I promise you it will be safe. Take my hand I will not let go.”

Cora looked behind her, she saw her children, Mary with Henry, Edith with Bertie and Tom with Lucy. All her grandchildren were there, George, Sybbie, Marigold, Caroline, Peter, Victor and Robert Junior her great. When she looked at Robert, she saw Sybil smiling at here, surrounded by her father Isidor, her mother Martha and her brother Harold.

“Follow me, I promise you, everything will be alright.”

Cora took his hand and stepped on the bridge.

Thank you very much for the reviews. This story was already written before I started uploading. I contemplated to change the ending and go on with this story, but it is good the way it is. Maybe one day I will write an alternative ending to this.

 

Going on without you. Chapter 3

“Anna!” Mary said while she walked downstairs. “I want Jules to go pack up her Ladyships clothes and all her personal belongings. She is leaving tomorrow.”

“Is she ready for that?” Anna asked unsure. She had moved from ladies maid to head housekeeper, but the friendship with Mary had stayed the same. Her two children, Johnny and Joanna grew up with George and Caroline.

“She doesn’t have a choice, she is moving.” Mary said harshly.

Anna got quiet, she felt she needed to do something. She loved Mary, but she felt she was going to far. What could she do? What was the reason Mary was pushing her mother out.

+++

“Is Grandmama not coming down for lunch?” George asked.

“She is tired and will have her lunch in her room.” Mary said. Cora had asked Jules to bring up a tray, she was not feeling well and wanted to stay upstairs.

“Is everything alright with Grandmama? She wasn’t tired before and out of the blue she is.”

“Your grandmother isn’t getting younger, please eat your lunch, otherwise we will be for hours at this table.”

Andy had listened in on the conversation and got the feeling master George didn’t know his grandmother was pushed out of the house. He was going to talk to Anna tonight.

+++

“Milady?” Jules touched Cora’s shoulder. It startled her, she had sat down on the settee for a second, but must have fallen asleep.

“I am sorry.” Cora sat up, rubbing her eyes. “I wasn’t planning on sleeping.”

“Are you feeling alright? Should I rang for the doctor?” Jules looked at Cora, who had a different colour on her face.

“A doctor is not needed. I will go down, for tea.” Cora smiled and got up.

+++

“Anna, do you have a moment?” Andy nocked on her door.

“Yes, come in.”

Andy closed the door behind him and sat down. “Do you think master George’s knows, Lady Mary is pushing her Ladyship out?”

“I get the feeling he doesn’t. I also think Lady Edith and Tom don’t know what she is doing.” She frowned.

“Lady Edith will not have any affect on Lady Mary, but maybe Tom can help? It is to early for her Ladyship to move to Dower house.” Andy said.

“I will ring Tom tomorrow and explain the situation.”

+++

*

“How beautiful you are.” Robert kissed Cora’s forehead. Softly he brushed his finger over the little girls cheek. “I love you, my dear.”

Cora looked up in surprise. “Are you sure?” This was the first time since they married he said that. The first year of their marriage had been hard. Robert married her, for her money. And when she gave birth to a baby girl, she was so scared he would divorce her. But something changed when Mary was born. Robert looked at her differently and now he finally said the words she was graving for.”

“With all my heart, I was stupid for not seeing you before. Thank you for staying and thank you for this beautiful gift.” He kissed the top of Mary’s head, she was asleep after her feeding. Then he cupped Cora’s cheek and kissed her passionately.

*

A loud noise outside her bedroom woke Cora up. She turned on her side to cuddle with Robert, as she had done all those years, but when she turned, she realised, he wasn’t there. Would she ever get uses to this feeling. She tried to lay back in her pillow and remember the wonderful dream she had.

“Robert Junior, leave that!” Cora heard George’s voice correcting his son. She chuckled, that little boy was up to a lot of trouble.

“Great Grandmama is still sleeping and we don’t play cricket in the house. Look at that beautiful vase you broke.”

That was the noise Cora woke up from. She got up as quickly as she could, wrapped herself in her dressing gown and opened her door.

“Did you know your great grandfather loved playing cricket.” She clearly startled George.

“Grandmama, I am so sorry we woke you up and broke that vase.”

“That’s alright, an early riser has the day, they say.” She looked at the broken vase, bend down and cupped Robert Junior’s cheek. “I am happy we can finally throw that vase out, I never liked it anyway.”

“Was Donk good at Cricket?” Robert Junior asked.

Cora smiled, Robert would always be Donk, after Sybbie’s nickname for him. She took Robert Junior’s hand and walked back in her bedroom. “He was a very good player himself, he just wasn’t good at coaching a team.” She sat down and Robert Junior got on her lap.

“You know we have a cricket match between the estate and the village each year. In the past your Donk was the captain. But he lost every year. I remember one year, Mr. Molesley was joining the team and he had told everybody how he loved the game and showed off his moves wherever he could. The day of the match came and your Donk was confident they would win this year”

Cora chuckled, she could still see Robert’s disappointed face. “Mr. Molesley had his turn to play, he was out before the game even really started.”

“Was Donk upset?” Robert Junior asked.

“At first, yes. But your Donk was a wonderful man and told the team. Having fun was more important than winning.” Cora nuzzled her nose in Robert Junior’s neck, what made him giggle.

“I love these stories about grandpapa.” George said, “but we will leave you for now, so you can get dressed.” He took Robert Junior from Cora’s lap and gave his grandmother a kiss on the cheek. “Please eat something, you look very pale.” He whispered.

Cora cupped his cheek, she loved her grandson dearly. “I will, don’t you worry.”

Going on without you. Chapter 2

Slowly Cora walked down the stairs, she was greeted by her grandson George. “Good morning, Grandmama, I was scared we wouldn’t see you this morning.”

George was growing into a fine young man, he was 27 and ready to take on his job as the next earl of Grantham. Cora was worried how Mary was going to accept this fact. She was taking care of Downton for a longer time now. Robert had handed over a lot of task to her in the last years, but George was the one carrying the title. Since Matthews death and marrying Henry, she didn’t had any right to Downton. It wasn’t in Cora’s nature, but she would love to throw that in Mary’s face, right now.

“Grandmama?” George took her hand and walked with her to the library.

“Yes, darling?” Cora smiled at him. She adored her grandson, he had the same sweet nature as his Donk. In fact she adored all her grandchildren.

“Can you tell me a story about Donk?”

Cora sat down on a chair and started talking.

“When you were just one year old, your Donk took you to see the estate. He put you in a stroller and just walked off. He didn’t think about telling anybody, but he also didn’t think about your feeding time. Soon Nanny discovered you were gone and panicked.”

“Was that the Nanny you fired?” George interrupted.

“That was Nanny West, I still don’t understand how we made that misjudgement about her, but no, this was Nanny Joan, a very sweet lady. She adored all of you. All the staff started looking for you, and at one moment we thought you were kidnapped.”

George belly laughed. “Kidnapped, why would they want to kidnap me?”

Cora put her hand on his knee. “You were the next earl, the only heir to Downton, people could have asked a lot of money.”

George nodded.

“Finally after several hours, your Donk returned with you, crying hysterical in your stroller. The whole house and especially your mother, was in a state. The only thing your dear Donk said: ‘I wanted to show him, what he will inherited.’”

“I miss Donk.” George said very softly.

“I do too, darling, we all do.” Cora saw a tear in George’s eye. “It is alright to cry.” Slowly she got up and sat down next to George, she wrapped her arm around him. He rested his head against her shoulder and cried.

Suddenly they were interrupted by a children voice. Robert Junior came running inside the library, with a his Nanny behind him. “I am so sorry Milord, he didn’t want to stay upstairs.”

George picked him up and put him on his lap, “That’s alright.” He brushed the dark curls of his son, Robert Junior had the same locks as his great grandfather, when it grew longer it started to curl.

Catherine and Mary entered the room too. Catherine was George’s wife, they got married 6 years ago and had their only son Robert Junior. It had made Robert so happy to know, there would be another heir in his bloodline.

+++

“I will go and change for lunch.” Cora knew she needed more time than the rest, so she made sure she got up before the dressing gong.

She was glad with George’s presence this morning. He was a sweet boy, she corrected herself he was a sweet man. A boy he wasn’t anymore.

Jules helped her step in her dress and closed the zipper. Cora picked up a collier, she smiled when she touched it with her finger tips. Robert gave it to her when she turned 70. He took her out for dinner in London at The Ritz. Just before they left for the restaurant, he stopped her and said:

*

“Close your eyes, darling.”

Cora did as he asked and stood waiting in the middle of the bedroom. Suddenly she felt something very cold on her neck and his fingers in her neck. He grabbed her shoulders and kissed her neck. “Happy birthday, darling. I hope you like this. You can open your eyes now.”

Cora looked at herself in the mirror and was shocked by the beauty of this piece of jewellery. “This is incredibly beautiful, thank you so much.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

“The chauffeur is waiting.” Reluctantly Robert stepped back. “I would rather kiss you longer.”

“We will have time after dinner.” Cora chuckled and hooked her arm in his.

*

Her bedroom door opened and Mary appeared. “Jules can you leave us for a minute.”

Jules looked at Cora, she said. “It’s alright, I will ring, when I need you.”

“Mama, you really need to start and pack up your stuff. Dower house is waiting.” Mary said without looking at her mother, the moment Jules closed the door behind her.

Cora let out a deep sigh. Mary had never showed much respect for Cora. She was blaming her to be an American, even though she had that same American blood in her veins

“Mary I need more time. I…….”

“One more day!” Mary said interrupting her mother, she turned around and left.

Cora was shaking and tried not to scream. She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the house. All her memories of Robert were embedded in here. She made loved and fought with Robert here. She gave birth to her girls in this room, she grieved Sybil here and now she was grieving Robert. How could Mary be so cold.

+++

Going on without you. Chapter 1

We meet Cora when she is 80, everything has changed.

Cora closed the door behind her, she looked at the empty bed. Her maid had just left. Jules was a lovely woman, but Cora still missed Baxter. A few months prior Baxter had handed in her notice and Cora totally got that. Baxter had got arthritis and wasn’t able to work anymore. Robert had made sure she could stop working and still live a comfortable live.

She got in the bed and turned on her side, she tried to avoid looking at the empty side. Especially now, Cora missed Baxter, she could have talked to her. When Rosamund died she lost her one friend and ally besides Robert and now……..

She repeated the conversation she had with Mary in her head.

*

“Mum, it is time you move to the dower house.”

Cora had looked up from her book in surprise. There wasn’t any talk about that before. Since Violet died the house was empty.

“Papa is gone now for a month, I think it is time to move on and live in the dower house.”

“But Mary?” Cora had stuttered. “I feel your dad’s presence here, I am not ready to live alone in that house.”

“Well, the estate is mine now and I say it is time.”

*

Cora wished she had stood up more firmly against her daughter, but she didn’t had the energy. She was broken, she missed Sybil and she craved for Robert’s arms. She turned around and pulled his pillow close, she forbid the maids to was his pillow, so she could still smell his smell on it.

She let go of her tears, she soaked the pillow, but she didn’t care. She was holding on to them for the whole day, she couldn’t hold it any longer. Sobbing she fell asleep.

+++

Cora woke up, feeling disoriented. She stretched out her arm, but the same second reality hit her. He wasn’t there and he would never be there anymore. She had lost the love of her life, after all these years he had left her. She remembered his final words: ‘I will always love you, even when I am not next to you.’

She took in a deep breath and slowly got up, her body was protesting. Her muscles ached, but what would you expect from a 80 year old body. She pulled the cord to let Jules know she was awake. She looked at Robert’s smiling face in the frame next to her bed.

She remembered taking this picture: It was about 20 years ago, they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. Robert had taken her to the south of France. Sybbie opened her villa for them, of course with the help of Tom and Lucy, she was just 10.

She took this picture when they were on a little boat trip. Robert said he wanted to do this trip to France all over again, and now with only good memories. When they first got to France, back when Sybbie inherited the villa, it was overshadowed by Cora’s illness.

Robert was wearing his dark navy suit, Cora fell in love all over again, when he appeared in that suit again. She remembered taking loads of pictures and Robert complaining she was wasting so many film roles.

A knock on the door shook her out of her memories. “Good morning, Milady.”

Cora tried to smile, but she felt it was a fake one and she knew Jules knew. She was a sweetheart and didn’t say anything. “Should I run you a warm bath this morning?” Jules said when she saw how stiff Cora got up from the bed.

+++

“Is her Ladyship awake?” Mary asked Jules when she saw her in the hallway.

“If have just ran her a bath, she is in it now. Can I give her a message?” Jules asked, trying to keep Mary out of the room.

“I will talk to her from the door, thank you.” Mary tried to pass Jules, but she was blocking the door. “Can you let me in?”

“Her Ladyship, is very tired. She will be down soon. If you excuse me, I am going to help her out of the bath.” Jules said firm and walked back in the room.

+++

“Milady, I can bring you a tray here in your room” Jules said, looking at the pale face of Cora.

Cora sat down in the chaise longue and nodded. She was trying to stay upstairs as long as possible, to avoid talking to Mary. She wish Edith was still here, but she had to go back home, to her own family.

Cora heard voices in the hallway. It was Andy who was talking to Jules. She couldn’t understand what they were saying.

When Thomas left for America, Carson had come back to train Andy. He had been a fast learner and Carson was very pleased.

Dear Carson, Cora thought. Robert was heartbroken when he died. He had grown up with him as a butler. Carson had died soon after his wife died. Mrs. Hughes was still missed in the house. Anna had taken over and although, she was a sweet woman. Nobody could replace Mrs. Hughes.

How times had changed. She was getting older herself, so obviously the staff did too. Daisy and Andy had children of their own. Mrs. Patmore had retired a few years prior and now Daisy was head cook.

And now Mary was forcing her out of her home, the home she hated when she first got here 58 years ago.

The first time Robert showed her the house she was scared to get lost. She was scared to move in the wrong way. Violet was watching her like a hawk, she also remembered the day Violet had moved to the dower house. Patrick had died a view years before. Robert said, she didn’t had to move out. But one day Violet came down and announced she was going to move. She was fed up with this big house and wanted to live smaller. So off she went.

She remembered that evening, she had fed Sybil and kissed Mary and Edith good night. When she got back down, Robert was waiting for her in the drawing room. She didn’t notice at first, but he was only wearing his dinner jacket, nothing underneath.

*

“I have sent the staff to bed, this is our first night without Mama in this house.” He pulled her close and kissed her neck.

Cora was cautious. “Are you sure, Carson has gone up?”

“Carson will not interrupt us.” He licked her earlobe.

*