Christmas at Downton, chapter 2

I decided to ad another chapter to this drabble, because I felt it needed it. So enjoy 🙂

“You did wonderful, my darling.” Robert said walking into Cora’s bedroom.

O’Brien just finished putting Cora’s hair in a braid. “Good night, Milady.” She said, picking up Cora’s clothes and she walked out of the room.

Cora looked up at Robert. “Thank you, darling. I am glad you enjoyed your evening.” Robert had indeed enjoyed his evening she thought. He was tipsy before the main course had finished. She asked Carson to slow him down on the alcohol. She noticed everybody was freely enjoying the drinks this evening. She got up and dropped her bathrobe at the end of the bed, before sliding under the covers.

“I really enjoyed it, even Mama was having fun I noticed. You did splendid.” Robert took of his slippers and crawled in bed to. He scooted closer to Cora, who was sitting against the headboard, holding her book. He took the book out of her hands and laid it down on her nightstand. Leaning heavily on her. Before he returned to his own side, he gave Cora a quick kiss.

She smiled and touched his cheek. “Darling, go to sleep, you are drunk.” She could smell the alcohol in his breath.

“But you are way too beautiful to not kiss.” He pressed his lips against Cora’s again.

Cora kissed him back. “Darling, I know you think that, but tomorrow morning the girls will be at our bed very early in the morning.”

“You don’t want me?” Robert pouted.

Cora gently pushed Robert back in his pillow and kissed him again. “You know I do, but not tonight. Sleep tight my darling.” She laid her head down. She loved sleeping against Robert. His steady heartbeat always calmed her down, the evening had been wonderful. Everyone loved the buffet style dinner and after everybody had danced with each other. Even the servants joined in on the festivities. Christmas was truly the most wonderful time of the year she thought. And this year was extra special with her mother and brother joining. She moved her hand to her belly and in the new year they would welcome a new addition to their little family of four. Robert started snoring and Cora scolded herself for not trying to be asleep before him. He was always snoring, but when he had a bit too much of a drink, it was even worse. She poked his side, trying to get him to turn on his side. “You are snoring.” She said, what helped. He turned on his side and the snoring stopped. Cora rolled back on her own pillow and tried to fall asleep, herself.

+++

“Ssstt, Mama is still sleeping, we have to wait a little bit darling.”

Cora heard Robert’s voice, she opened her eyes and saw he was kneeled, and her two girls were in front of him. Robert saw she was awake and winked at her. So, she pretended she was still sleeping, she closed her eyes again and waited.

“Go and wake up mommy.”

Very quickly she felt the bed move and little hands leaning on her. She opened her eyes again and played she was in shock seeing her girls. “Darlings, what are you doing here?”

Mary had a big smile on her face. “Open the presents now, Mama?”

Cora pulled Mary close. “Of course, we can.” She threw off the duvet and put on her bathrobe. Edith took her hand and Mary took her other. She smiled at Robert and said very softly. “Maybe there is a present for you too.”

Robert picked Edith up and replaced her hand for his in Cora’s. “Maybe, just maybe Santa Claus left something for you too, my dearest.” He felt Cora leaning in on him, while they walked towards the stairs. He had bought Cora a very special gift this year. When they were in London during the summer, she had been looking at a jewellery set at Cartier, but she said it would be too much, so she decided not to buy the set. He was pleased she did not buy it; it gave him the perfect Christmas present.

The girls run down the stairs towards the three. The pulled all the presents underneath them. Robert rushed after them, trying to stop them from opening the wrong gifts. Settle down girls, Mama will hand you your gifts. He sat down on the ground and pulled Mary on his lap.

Cora got on her knees and picked the first present. “This one has your name on it, Mary.” she handed Mary the gift, pulling Edith closer to her. Inside was a beautiful doll. Cora saw Mary’s face lit up. “Thank you.” She murmured.

“And this one, is for you.” She handed Edith a present. It was too big for her to pick up, so Cora helped. Inside the package was a balance bike. “The rest of the gifts has to wait, look this one has Granny Violet’s name on it, and this one has Uncle Harold’s

“Is there something for me?” They heard the low voice of Harold.

“Good morning, my dear brother, you are up early.” Cora wanted to get up but felt Harold’s hand on her shoulder.

“Stay seated, it seems it is way more fun to sit on the ground.” He sat down himself and looked at the presents. “Oh look, there is another one for you two.” He handed the girls another present.

“This looks cosy.” Rosamund said, while joining their little circle on the ground. Marmaduke also followed.

“You cannot expect us to sit on the ground.” Violet walked in; she was the only one not in her pyjama’s. Carson rushed to put down a chair, for her. He also put one down for Martha, who joined right after Violet, but she refused and sat down on the floor.

“I am not that old yet.” She said.

Everybody opened their gifts, until there were just two gifts left. “I think this one is for you.” Cora picked up one of the presents and handed it to Robert. She kissed his cheek. “Happy Christmas.”

Inside were Australian Merino shearling-lined scuff slippers.

“Now you cannot complain about your cold feet anymore.” Cora smiled at Robert.

“These are beautiful.” He touched the inside. “And so incredibly soft. “Thank you very much.” He looked at the tree. “Than this one is for you, my darling.” He handed the box to Cora.

Cora took of the wrapping paper and her eyes grew when she saw the red box. “You did not!” She looked up at Robert, her cheeks turning red. “This is too much.”

“Open it.” He said.

“Yeah, Sis, we want to know what is inside.” Harold said.

Cora quickly opened the box and looked at the beautiful set she had seen in London. The set was from the essential line collection. A necklace, bracelet, and earrings.

“Robert, this is truly too much.”

“Nothing is too much for the love of my life.” Robert kissed her on the lips and cupped her head with his hand.

Cora’s red cheeks turned even brighter red. Robert never kissed her like this in front of other people. Especially not in front of his mother.

Rosamund saved the day by saying: “I think it is time for us to put on our clothes and sit down for breakfast.”

Nanny took the girls upstairs when everybody got up to go back to their rooms. Robert took Cora’s hand and hold her behind.

“Darling. I mean it, nothing is too much for you. I was happy you decided not to buy this set, you gave me the opportunity to gif it to you.”

Now everybody had left, Cora felt more freely and put her arms in Robert’s neck. “I love you; you know that right?”

Robert gave her a surprised look. “Uhm, yes I do?”

“You do not have to give me expensive gifts, I love you for who you are.”

Robert chuckled. “Did you look at the gift you gave me? These slippers aren’t cheap.”

Cora pressed her lips against Robert’s. “In comparison they are.” She felt Robert’s hand on her lower back, pressing her against him. She loved these stolen moments together.

+++

They were all sitting in the library, enjoying a quiet afternoon. Cora was chatting with Rosamund, Harold was reading a book and Marmaduke and Robert were talking business, when all the sudden Mary came running in.

“Mama! Mama!” She screamed. “Look, snow, look.” She jumped up and down from joy.

They all looked outside and saw the world was indeed getting white.

“Go, get on your jackets, we need to build a snowman.” Robert said enthusiastically.

They all went outside, except for Violet and Martha, who stated that it was far too cold to be outside.

Cora looked at Robert and the girls who were building a snow man, she was waiting with some pebbles, a carrot, and a shawl to top it off.

Robert stepped back and looked at his work. “Perfect.” He said softly.

Cora slid her arm in his and leaned in on him. “It is indeed perfect.” She said, smiling up at him. This snow was the icing on the cake. These Christmas days had been splendid, everybody had enjoyed themselves, the buffet would be something they would do again Robert had said to his mother. Maybe not for Christmas, but he liked the idea of shaking things up a bit during the year. Cora had smiled when he said that he was a real English man, but slowly he was getting influenced by her American heritage.

Christmas at Downton

Here is my Christmas drabble for the Cobert Winter Fanfic Exchange 2022

Robert entered Cora’s sitting room. She was bent over the papers in front of her on her desk. He loved looking at her, without her noticing it. Her dark curls up in a Chignon, he loved it when she undid her hair in the evenings, and the curls cascaded over her back.

He closed the door and stepped closer; he saw Cora was working on the table setting for Christmas eve.

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her and placed his hands on her abdomen. “Our last Christmas as a family of four.” He said, kissing her cheek.

Cora looked up with a smile on her face. She placed one hand on top of Robert’s, and with the other one, she stroked his cheek. “Hi, darling. Are you finished for today?”

Robert sat down on a chair next to her desk. “There is some work left, but that I can do after Christmas. I was wondering if I could help you with something.”

Cora looked at the paper in front of her. “I am struggling a bit with the table setting. I don’t want a normal sit-down Christmas dinner this year.”

Robert raised his eyebrows. Did he hear that correctly? What was Cora going to change.

“I was thinking to do a buffet style this year. My mother and Harold are coming over and I would love to show them: England is not stuck in the 1920’s anymore.” Cora knew Robert was going to freak out. He never liked it when she tried to change something. He was such an English man, that he was stuck in the traditions from the old age. As the 9th earl of Grantham, he loved doing things the proper way.

“Cora! You know my mother is also coming? We cannot do a buffet style dinner with Christmas. We can show your mother that we are modern in different ways.”

“I already discussed the plans with Mrs. Patmore, and she is super enthusiastic to make this dinner.”

Robert sighed. Cora made up her mind, he would not be able to change a thing. “When is your mother arriving?” He changed the subject.

“On the morning of Christmas eve, she will stay for Christmas day, then she and Harold will tour around to be back here for New Year’s Eve.”

“When are we going to tell our mother’s you are expecting? Because you are starting to show already.”

Cora moved her hand to her abdomen, Robert was right. She was only four months pregnant, but she was starting to show. Both Mary and Edith had been ecstatic when they told them there was a brother or sister coming. Cora had been relieved with Mary’s reaction. When Edith came, she had been hostile and still, they didn’t have the best relationship. Cora hoped it would improve with age. She looked up at Robert, we can tell them during Christmas dinner.

“While we are all walking around?”

“Robert!” Cora said annoyed. “A buffet does not mean we don’t sit down to eat. We start sitting down and then everybody will go to the buffet table and pick what they want to eat and sit back down.”

Robert sighed. “That sounds as chaos.”

Cora wanted to reply, when the door opened, and Mary and Edith came running in. Edith was in tears and Mary was blaming Edith for something. In a way it was adorable, Cora though, Mary was starting to form real sentences and Edith, was echoing what Mary said.

“Girls!’ Robert said on a firm tone. “Stop this! It is almost Christmas, stop fighting. Edith!” He gave her a firm look. “Leave your sister alone.”

Cora looked up at Robert. This was something he did a lot, blaming Edith directly, without knowing what happened. She felt Edith’s hands on her legs, and she pulled her up on her lap. Mary wanted to walk to Robert, but she grabbed her arm and pulled her close, cupped her head and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “What happened?”

Nanny had followed the girls and explained Mary wanted to play with a toy Edith had. “I am sorry that they are disturbing you.” Nanny said.

Cora smiled at their Nanny. “Don’t you worry, it is time for lunch anyway.” She got up, rested Edith on her hip and Mary’s hand in hers. “Are you coming?” She said looking at Robert.

Robert was always amazed, by Cora. Casually carrying Edith and also affirming Mary, she loved her.

+++

24th of December

Robert woke up early, today Martha and Harold would arrive. Violet would be here early because she wanted to be in the house before Martha. He turned on his side and watched Cora, who was still sleeping. Her slow breathing and soft snores gave him a feeling of coming home. He was a lucky guy, that she said yes. Even though he married her mainly for the money she brought with her from America. But he had started loving her very soon after their marriage and when she gave him his first daughter, he was over the moon in love and now she was going to give him a third child. He scooted closer and moved his hand over her abdomen.

Cora moaned and turned on her side. “Please, let me sleep some more.”

Robert kissed her cheek. “Good morning darling, we have a busy day, I am afraid there is not much time for sleep.” He knew Cora had stayed up until late to put down all the gifts under the Christmas tree.

“I know, but just five more minutes.” Cora buried her face in Robert’s arms. She folded her hands in front of her and rested them against Robert’s chest. She was blessed with him as her husband. When her mother suggested to go look for a man in England she had laughed, but she had been right. She could not have wished for a better man than Robert. Adjusting to this English estate life had been hard, but she felt more and more at home and now it was time, to bring some of her customs into this household.

Their bedroom door opened, and Mary and Edith climbed on their bed. “Santa has brought presents.” Mary exclaimed.

Cora sat up and pulled Mary close. “Did he?” She smiled, well let’s go down and see where they are.

“Under the Christmas tree Mama. He left them there.” Mary said.

“We will go and look at them, but we are going to wait with opening them. Grandmama from America is coming today and Uncle Harold, and I think there are also presents for them, we will open them tomorrow morning.” Robert patted Edith on her head.

Cora got up, wrapped herself in her bathrobe, took Robert’s hand and together they followed the girl’s downstairs.

Robert chuckled, if his mother would see them, she would scold him, for being downstairs in his bathrobe. But he agreed with Cora, they should adapt to the modern times, and it was incredibly cosy to be downstairs with the children in their bathrobes, looking at all the presents.

Cora handed both Edith and Mary a small present. “This one you can open right now.” she said

Robert pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Cora. There was a Christmas card in it.

On the back there was written:

‘You make me the happiest man on earth. Happy Christmas my darling. Yours only, R‘

“Oh Robert!” Cora exclaimed. “I love you, thank you.”

+++

Evening of Christmas eve

“Mama, when are we doing the Christmas crackers?” Mary leaned against her mother’s legs.

“We can do them now, Rosamund said, looking at Marmaduke.

“I will get them, he said.

“This is such a weird tradition.” Harold said under his breath.

“Oh, come on, as if we do not have strange customs in America, Cora answered.

“Maybe, but we do not sit with a paper crown on our head during Christmas.”

Later that evening when the children were tugged into bed.

“Why aren’t we allowed in the dining room yet.” Violet asked, everybody was in the library. Harold and Marmaduke were chatting, Robert was talking with Rosamund.

Cora was chatting with her mother and looked up. “The staff is not finished yet, so we have to wait a little bit longer.” She did not dare to look at Violet. When she decided to do a buffet style dinner, she had felt very brave, but now she was feeling regret.

Robert saw the look on Cora’s face change, and he stepped closer. He put his hand on her lower back and whispered in her ear. “Maybe we should tell our news now?”

Cora nodded. “Before the evening is ruined you mean.”

Robert pulled her a little bit closer. “No, to make the evening more joyful.” With his hand still on Cora’s back, he started. “Everybody. Cora and I have some news.” He waited a second before he got everybody’s attention. “We are expecting another little one.”

Cora saw Robert was beaming, he was so proud to tell the family the news. Rosamund got up and to Cora’s surprise wrapped her arms around her. “Congratulations, what a wonderful news.”

At that same time Carson entered and Cora announced they should go through. Before everybody left the room, they congratulated both Cora and Robert.

“And now let see what you and Mrs. Patmore made of our Christmas dinner.” Robert took Cora’s hand and together they followed the rest.

There were long tables with food on it. The staff was standing behind them to serve. On every table there were Christmas decorations, and a string quartet was playing Christmas songs.

Martha clapped in her hands. “Cora, you did a wonderful job, look at how festive this is.”

Cora glanced at Violet, but to her surprise she saw her nodding in agreement. “I must admit, this indeed looks amazing. We must compliment Mrs. Patmore for this idea.”

“Well.” Rosamund started. “I think there is somebody else who we should compliment.” She looked at Cora. “Because I think the idea came from my darling sister-in-law, am I right?”

“You are 100% correct.” Robert said with a proud look on his face. “Cora was the one with this idea and although I was against it, I am happy she made it happen. This looks wonderful and I quite like the idea of not sitting down for hours tonight.”

“Well, let us not wait any longer, Bon appetite everyone.”

 

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 11

Cora got back in bed, last night after Violet passed, Dr. Clarkson had explained, what the treatment would be. It contained a diet of raw liver; she was horrified by the idea.

The evening had drained her from all her energy and to top it off she had spent a lot of time in the bathroom during the night. Her intestines were not agreeing with her.

Robert had fallen asleep like a baby. The moment his head hit the pillow he was gone. Cora was glad he slept this well, he needed his rest. There was so much he needed to arrange, although Mary would do a big part, which was one of Violet’s wishes.

She rolled on her side, hoping to get some more sleep. But then she felt Robert getting closer. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. She winched, her back was hurting, but she did not want to discourage Robert. She felt his nose in her neck, he did not say a word, clearly, he was searching for some comfort. She let him, he had just lost his mother, her discomfort was not important now. She would try to sleep some more in the afternoon.

Robert felt Cora winch when he pulled her close, but he needed her comfort. He needed her smell in his nose, he warm body against his. He knew he was selfish right now, but he did not care. He wishes they could stay here the rest of the day. Ignoring the rest of the world.

“Robert?” Cora’s voice was soft.

“Hmmm”

Cora turned around and faced him. “Are you alright?” Softly she touched his cheek.

Robert felt a lump in his throat and could not answer.

Cora saw his lip tremble and pulled him close. Her hands rubbing his back. “It is alright to cry. I am here for you darling. I am here.”

Suddenly Robert pulled back. “It should not be this way. I should take care of you, you are ill.”

Cora put her hand on his arm, playing with the hairs. “I am ill for weeks now, don’t you worry. We know what is wrong and that I will be better soon.”

“You barely slept last night, and now I am here being weak.”

“Robert you are not weak, because you are showing emotions. It is perfectly all right. I am your wife and know how much you loved your mother.”

Robert sighed, he felt ashamed he let Cora alone with Dr. Clarkson last night. He should have been there, instead he drank away his feelings. He did that a lot, he chuckled, the only time that was not possible was with his ulcer.

Cora raised her eyebrows. “What is funny?”

“I was thinking about that time I needed to stop drinking when I had that ulcer.”

Now Cora also chuckled. “How drunk you were on Christmas eve.”

“The fear of losing our darling Sybbie was too much for me, and I hadn’t touched a glass in weeks.” He sighed; he remembered the feeling like yesterday. Tom was going to take his darling girl away.

Cora kissed the tip of Robert’s nose. “Tom came back with her, and he had grown into a different man, he needed that trip.” She felt some rumbling in her abdomen and knew she needed to run to the bathroom.

Robert watched Cora rush to the bathroom, moaning ‘not again.’ he felt sorry for her. Her gut gave her some problems the last couple of days, He was scared to see her body’s reaction on the raw liver. He got nauseous just thinking of it.

He got up and decided to get dressed, Baxter would come soon with Cora’s breakfast. He was going to make sure she could take a slow day. The bathroom door opened, and Cora appeared, looking white as the sheets. He rushed over to her. “Cora?” He asked while wrapping his arm around her waist.

Cora gave Robert a faint smile. “I am alright. I just need some more rest.”

“I will ask Baxter to bring you something for your stomach.”

“I am not sick, darling. It is not my stomach.”

Robert stuttered. “I know, but….” he felt silent, he did not like talking about it.

Cora patted his hand. “I know what you mean. Thank you.”

Baxter entered the room with a breakfast tray. “I will bring the liver up soon.” She said, pulling a face.

Cora chuckled. “Is it that bad?” She looked at Robert. “I will sit down on the settee for my breakfast.”

Robert helped her down and stepped back, Baxter would take over from here.

+++

Midday Cora finally found the energy to go downstairs. Baxter had brought her activated charcoal and it had helped. She was able to be away from the bathroom longer than 5 minutes.

“Grandmamma!”

Cora almost got run over by George, Sybbie and Marigold.

“Be careful with Grandmamma.” Mary exclaimed

Cora saw Caroline looking at her shyly. She reached out her hand and guided Caroline towards the sofa.

“Is granny Violet with Mama?” Sybbie asked.

Cora quickly glanced at Robert. “Yes, darling. Yes, she is with your Mama”

“You aren’t going to leave us soon, right?” Sybbie asked with big eyes.

Cora touched her cheek, unable to speak.

Robert sat down next to Sybbie. “Grandmamma will be all better soon. It will take some time, but she is staying with us for a long, long time.

Cora smiled at Robert. She heard his relief in these words. She felt the same relief herself. She was going to see the children grow up and she would be around when the new addition to the family would be born. Sybbie would become a big sister, in a couple of months.

“I remember, when your Mama was younger, she asked Mrs. Patmore to teach her how to cook. She made a cake for me.”

“She did?” Sybbie asked in surprise.

Cora smiled; she remembered that day like yesterday. She was working on some embroidery when Carson came in to tell her Sybil was spending her days in the kitchen. He took her down and the moment she saw Sybil’s smiling and proud face, she knew Sybil would make it in this world. “It was the best cake I ever had.”

Thomas entered the library.

“Dinner, everyone.” Cora said while getting up.

Robert gave her his arm when he saw she was unstable. “You never told me about that cake.”

“I am sure, you would not have appreciated it, Sybil was walking on all your nerves those days.”

“I am afraid you are right. But I am happy you knew about the cake, did Sybil ever found out you knew?”

Cora lowered her eyes. “I never told her.”

Everybody had left the library when Baxter entered with a plate.

Robert pulled a face. “Why does that smell so bad?”

“Because it also tastes bad.” Cora said while taking the plate from Baxter. She waited for her to leave the room before she turned towards Robert.

“I don’t understand how you can eat this,” he said.

Cora smiled. “You would eat it too, if that meant you could stay longer with me.”

Robert took the plate and put it down. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the lips. He felt Cora relax in his arms, and he kissed her again. “You are so much stronger than I am.”

Cora moved her hand to his cheek. “You are the one making me strong. Without you I would be lost.”

“I am so thankful, I married you. Although the reason was not the right one. I got a winning ticket. You truly are a woman of real substance, and I am lucky, I can still call you, my wife.”

Cora had the biggest smile on her face. “You don’t know how much I love you.” She pressed her lips against his.

A big thanks for everybody who left reviews. I really enjoyed writing this story. I cannot wait to start a next one.

 

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 10

I am sorry for letting you all wait on this chapter. But I could not find the time to write.

Cora looked at Dr. Clarkson, she heard her blood rushing in her ears. She could not read his face, what was he going to tell? Was he bringing good news or bad news. She did not dare to glance at Robert, scared to see his expression.

Robert saw Cora was nervous, of course she was. They would hear what her faith would be. Very gentle he placed his hand on her lower back, in an attempt to calm her down a little bit and to reassure her he was there. She did not look at him. He pulled his hand back, when he realised it was not appropriate. He clutched his hands in front of him and tried to focus on what Dr. Clarkson was saying.

“It will not be enjoyable, but you won’t die.” Dr. Clarkson concluded.

Cora let out a sigh of relief, she did not have cancer. She would need to have treatment, but this pernicious anaemia would not kill her. She finally dared to look up at Robert and she saw the same relieve reflected on his face. He locked eyes with her. Suddenly she felt his arm around her and his lips on her temple.

She wanted to burry herself in his arms, feel his heartbeat, soak up his warmth. But it was not appropriate, even this sign of affection was a bit to much. Despite that, she wrapped her arm around Robert’s back. Softly she squeezed his side.

“Thank you, Dr. Clarkson.” Robert said, feeling Cora’s arm on his back. He himself hold on firmly, he was not going to let her go. His Cora was going to stay with him. His world was going back to normal again. He was his father’s son and his wife would heal. He wondered what her treatment would be. Especially because Dr. Clarkson said it would not be pleasant.

“Yes, thank you.” He heard Cora’s voice, what brought him back to earth. “You must stay and have some dinner.” Cora took Robert’s hand. She was his home, his everything, he thought.

At that moment, they heard the desperate cries of Miss Denker coming from the first floor.

“Milord, Milady, come quickly.”

Robert glanced at Cora, he saw it in her eyes, his mother was dying. He called Dr. Clarkson with him and rushed upstairs.

Cora was left alone in the hallway, she stared upstairs. How life jumped from one happy moment to a sad moment. She took a deep breath, she was still in shock. It wasn’t cancer, although pernicious anaemia was not pleasant, it was treatable by now. She remembered when Lord Merton got that diagnosis. He was going to die, but then they learned it was not pernicious. Violet had made sure Isobel and him got together again and look at them now, she smiled. Violet had a strong opinion, but deep down, she was a caring woman. She was going to be missed greatly.

“Mama?”

Cora shook out of her daydreaming and saw Edith.

“Mama, did Dr. Clarkson bring bad news?” She asked with a worried face.

It was than that Cora noticed she had a tear on her cheek. Quickly she wiped it away. “No, no, but your grandmother….” Cora could not get the words out of her mouth.

Edith stepped closer and kissed her mother on the cheek. “What did Dr. Clarkson tell you?”

Cora noticed Edith did not react to the news about Violet. “It is not cancer.”

“Oh Mama.” Edith exclaimed. “We need to tell Mary and Tom. And then we will go to Grandmamma.”

+++

Robert sat on a chair next to his mother’s bed. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was shallow. Dr. Clarkson said it would not take long now, and the chance she would open her eyes again was slim. He took a deep breath and tried to prepare. He felt Cora’s hand on his back. He looked around the room. Opposite of him were his girls Mary and Edith, then he saw Tom and Lucy, Isobel and Maud were sitting on the sofa.

“Maud?”

It was his mother’s voice and it scared him a little. He looked at her, she was so frail. Once she was done talking to Maud Violet turned towards him. He had his hands resting on the bed, he did not know where to put them. “Is there anything you want.” He asked.

“What ever I have wanted, dearest boy, you have given me long before now and many times over” Violet surprised him when she took his hand in hers. She never had done that. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Dear Mama, I hope I haven’t been a disappointment, you were always so much cleverer than me.”

“True, but don’t let that come between us now. You are far kinder, than I have ever been.”

Violet looked up at Cora. “Cora, I owe you an apology. I did not think you would last the course.”

Despite the sad feeling that was overwhelming Cora, she smiled. “I know.”

“But I was wrong.”

This shocked Cora. She had never heard Violet admit being wrong. It was like her saying: ‘I never argue, I explain. She saw Violet turning towards her daughters and a proud feeling swelled up in her chest. Her girls, the girls she raised with all the love she had. Violet took Edith’s hand and Mary stepped closer. Sybil was looking, Cora knew. Sybil was always with them.

Violet made a typical comment towards Miss Denker and when she looked at her face again, she was gone. Dr. Clarkson confirmed, that Violet had passed.

Cora put her hands on Robert’s arms, and softly squeezed his upper arm. She felt him taking a shaky breath. His hand was still holding his mother’s. Mary wrapped her arms around Edith.

Maud, Isobel, Tom and Lucy and Dr. Clarkson, left the room, leaving Robert, Cora, Edith and Mary alone with Violet.

Cora saw Edith was looking at her with red eyes. Quickly she walked over and pulled her close. She cupped the back of her head with her hand and brushed through her hair. Mary was looking at them, Cora was not sure if she wanted to be comforted by her, but she reached out her hand and Mary took it. Leaning in on both her mother and Edith.

There was a knock on the door, it was Dr. Clarkson. The girls left the room, Robert said a last goodbye and grabbed Cora’s hand when they walked out.

 

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 9

Cora and Robert walked into the dining room that was now a filmset. The staff that was already seating, quickly got up. Robert urged them to sit down again, they were actors now. Quickly he and Cora joined the rest of the family behind the cameras.

Cora smiled at Mary and Edith, who gave her a worried look. She touched both their arms, to reassure them. Suddenly there was a loud screech in the room. And they heard the voice of Molesley.

“Do you want to marry me?” his voice sounded.

“Yes, Mr. Molesley.” Baxter’s voice sounded.

When they entered the dining room there was applause coming from everybody. Cora quickly grabbed Baxter’s hand. She was overjoyed for her.

They were all quickly sussed down by the crew, filming was starting.

+++

Robert handed Cora a glass and set down next to her. They were sitting in Cora´s sitting room. The library was crowded, filming had finished, and they all had a little celebration. Robert noticed Cora was getting quiet, he suggested to take a drink in her sitting room, for a little bit of rest. The rest of the evening would be long enough, with the buffet dinner.

“I am glad that the filming is over.” Robert sighed.

“Life is almost going back to normal.” Cora briefly touched Robert’s hand. “The proposal this afternoon made me think of our girls’ weddings.”

“I am sorry, we never been there for Sybil’s wedding.” Robert said softly.

Cora smiled at him, but before she could say anything Marigold and Sybbie came into the room. “Here you are.” Sybbie said.

“What is it.” Robert said a little bit annoyed that they were disturbing them, he felt Cora’s hand on his leg.

“We will be back in a minute darling; Grandmama needed some rest.” She said. The girls turned around and left them alone.

“I am so glad Edith was able to get her back and keep her.” Robert said.

Cora raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Do you really?”

Robert took her hands in his and turned towards her. He loved the winkling he just saw in her eyes. Her grandchildren had a special place in her heart. His Cora had always loved their own children, but for the grandchildren there was even more love. “Yes, I am really glad Marigold is with Edith.”

Cora lowered her eyes, she blamed herself for everything that happened. Edith had not felt safe enough to confide in her. She had failed Edith. “In the end it is all good, but Edith was in a horrible situation, and we did nothing.”

“We did not know; how could we have done anything?”

Now Cora looked into Robert’s eyes. He was still looking at her and the look in his eyes made her want to wrap her arms around him and kiss him, but she kept herself from it. “If I were more attentive to Edith during her younger years, she would have known she could tell me about her pregnancy. Now she was all alone in Switzerland, giving up a daughter she did not want to give up.”

“She was not alone, she had Rosamund. Cora, do not blame yourself for this.” Robert squeezed her hands.

“There is nobody else to blame. I still feel ashamed I did not see what was happening. I never realised how much Michael meant for her.” Cora felt silent, she felt a lump in her throat.

“But now she is with Bertie, and he makes her happy. Little Peter is a wonderful addition to the family.” He saw Cora’s lips curl up in a smile. He knew Cora never forgave herself for what happened with Edith, but she should not be so hard on herself. Yes, Edith had slipped their attention and they never saw her potential. But luckily Mama and Rosamund finally told Cora the whole story and she arranged for them to be together here at Downton. And now look at her. The Marchioness of Hexham. She outranked them all.

“What are you thinking?” All the sudden Cora’s face was really close to his.

“How Edith’s life has changed and how amazing she is doing right now.”

“All our children did amazing.” She pressed her lips against Robert’s. “Let’s go back to the rest, it is almost dinner time.”

Robert sighed. “Dinner in the library, it is a good thing Mama is not coming down to witness this.”

Cora got up and pulled Robert also up. “Come on, the modern world has come to Downton, and we should embrace it.”

+++

When they walked into the great hall, there was Bertie helping Miss Dalgleish to a plate.

They could not hear the whole conversation, but suddenly Bertie said rather loud. “Where is your ghastly accent.” And everybody felt silent. Cora quickly walked over; she had a proud smug on her face. She took the plate from Bertie and gave him a warning look.

Robert chuckled, that was one of the looks, you did not want to get from Cora. She could really kill with her eyes. Quickly Bertie made himself out of the way and Cora filled Miss Dalgleish’s plate. But she reclined and went downstairs to say goodbye to the staff. Robert stepped closer and whispered. “Now, I know what you and Miss Dalgleish had been doing.”

Cora gave him a proud look, put some more asperges on her plate and went into the library.

When everybody was done eating, Thomas came to Robert and Cora announcing that Dr. Clarkson had arrived.

Quickly they followed. Just before they would great him, Robert took Cora’s hand. “Whatever he will tell us, we will make the best of it.”

Cora wrapped both arms around him and pressed her face against his chest. “I love you darling.” Still with her arms wrapped around his him, she looked up.

Robert pressed a kiss on her forehead. “You are my everything.”

 

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 8

Robert walked into Cora’s sitting room, where he found her at her desk. He walked over and put down a cup of tea.

Cora looked up, but when she saw Robert, her face clouded. “Thank you.” She said softly.

Robert put his hand on Cora’s shoulder and felt how stiff she was, he softly kneaded her shoulder, but Cora pulled back. “Don’t, not now” Was the only thing she said. He pulled his hand back and left her alone.

Cora put down her pen and massaged her temples, she felt a headache coming on. She decided to go upstairs to lay down for a minute, before working with Miss Dalgleish. This afternoon they would film the last scene, but she and Miss Dalgleish needed to do a little bit of work still.

+++

Cora had asked Mary to bring Miss Dalgleish up to her room. Baxter had helped her change into a dress. She could not manage anything tight at the moment, but she was not seeing Miss Dalgleish in her nightwear.

Her head was exploding, but focussing on something else would help, she figured. She wished she could ask Robert for a neck massage, she was stiff as a board. Why did she reject him this morning? She scolded herself, why would she ask him, he had no right she was forgiving him so easily. She frowned, she did not want to spend her last days with Robert in a dispute. She could not leave him in this state, and she did not want to leave in this state. She had been so happy the last couple of days remembering with Robert. The happy memories, the sad memories, their live together. There was no point in being angry after all these years.

There was a knock on the door and Miss Dalgleish entered. “I am sorry Milady to take up your time again, while you do not feel well.”

Cora sat up on her chaise longue and smiled at her. “Come in, come in. Do not worry, you are keeping my mind of things. Let’s continue where we stopped yesterday.”

+++

Robert waited for Miss Dalgleish to leave Cora’s room. He was not sure if it was wise to go inside, but he needed to see her. When he entered the room, he saw Cora sitting at her dressing table, with her head in her hands, her fingers rubbing her temples. He stepped closer and careful put his hands in her neck and started massaging. He felt Cora stiffen up in a protest, but directly letting go and excepting his touch.

After a couple of minutes, he sat down on the chair next to Cora and took her hands in his. She had her eyes closed but was turned towards him.

“Cora, I am not asking you to forget what I have done. I am not even asking for your forgiveness. I am not even sure what I am asking of you, but can you please talk to me?”

Now Cora looked up and her eyes locked with his. He saw something different in them, the cold ice blue was gone. She took a deep breath but did not say a word.

“I know I was wrong for kissing Jane and even wanting her, I cheated and hated myself for it. And I was very, very wrong throwing Mr. Bricker in the game again, I tried to justify my own mistake. I know, he was the one who made the move, not you.” He felt Cora’s fingers wrap around his hand. “What can I do to make this right?”

“You cannot.” Cora said softly.

“Oh.” Robert tried to pull his hands back, but Cora’s grip was firm.

“You do not have to.” Cora continued. “I will never forget what happened, but it will not help me being angry about it now.” She stopped for a second and looked into Robert’s eyes again. “I want to remember our happy times together and the times we came out stronger after hard times. I want to love you, because that is what I did for all my life, and it is what makes me happy.”

“Do you mean that?” Robert said, slightly shocked.

“Do not think you are of the hook this easily, because you really hurt me with this.”

Robert nodded, he could not believe, Cora was saying this. He was so scared she would…. he did not even know what she would do.

“But I love you with everything that I am, and this is not going to change that.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. She rested her cheek against his and closed her eyes. She felt Robert pulling her on his lap and she now rested her head on his shoulder. His hand massaging her neck very gently. She was falling asleep, and she did not fight it.

Robert waited for Cora to be fast asleep, before he got up and carried her to her bed. She must be exhausted. His confession did not help with her being ill. He sat on her side of the bed for a long time, until Edith came in.

“Is Mama getting worse?” She asked.

Robert shook his head. “No, she is not. She is just asking a little bit too much of herself.”

“They are ready to start filming, but wanted to wait for you two to come down, but I guess Mama is not coming.”

Cora was woken up by their conversation. “Give me a minute to freshen up, and we will be down.” She said.

Robert put his hand on her cheek. “You do not have to go down, when you are to tired.”

Cora pushed herself up. “I am not missing out on this.”

Robert chuckled. “I would not mind missing out on it. All that fuss.”

Now also Cora chuckled. The last time you were happy to miss out on the fuss was when we had that open house.”

“After my ulcer burst. I remember.” Robert clearly remembered how rough he had felt that whole evening and when he wanted to excuses himself, he had spewed all over the table.

“When you splattered blood all over me, I was scared out of my mind.” Cora said.

“I remember thinking I needed to tell you that I loved you. I could not die without telling you how much I loved you.”

Cora wrapped her arms around him. “But you did not die that night.”

Robert pulled her even closer. “And you are not going to die soon either.”

Cora pressed her lips against Robert’s neck. “We will know more soon.” Dr. Clarkson had said he would come over tomorrow to tell them the results. Cora noticed she was getting really nervous, how were they going to deal with it, when it turned out to be cancer. Especially with Mama getting weaker by the day. She took a deep breath and put her feet on the ground. “Now, time to see what they are doing downstairs.”

Robert watched how Cora was fixing her hair. Her fingers pinning up her curls, like she was doing this everyday. But Robert knew, Cora rarely fixed her hair herself. 9 out of 10 it was Baxter doing it. She picked up her gloves and it amazed Robert how she was able to get her hands in them. He would have thrown them out already.

Cora looked at herself one more time and decided it was good enough, she hooked her arm in Robert’s and they went downstairs.

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 7

Robert found Cora already in bed, after dinner she went upstairs. She had spent the whole afternoon with Miss Dalgleish, he did not know what the two woman had done. But she came smiling into the dining area, so she must have enjoyed her afternoon. He had noticed she had dark circles under her eyes and was glad when she said she would go upstairs right away.

He crawled in bed, turned on his side and kissed the back of Cora’s head. According to her breathing she was fast asleep. He scooted close and tried to fall asleep.

All of the sudden he was woken up by Cora.

“Who is Jane?”

“What?” He said groggy.

“Who is Jane? And why are you dreaming about her?”

Robert turned on his bedside light, Cora was sitting straight up, and her piercing blue eyes looked into his. He dreamed about Jane, he knew, but clearly, he had spoken her name out loud. He needed to confess, there was no other way. He also got up and leaned into the headboard. “You remember when you were ill with the Spanish flu?”

Cora raised her eyebrows. “I do not remember much, beside falling ill and feeling like I would not make it.”

Robert looked at his hands. “The first evening, I…..” He stopped.

“You what? Robert, do not tell me you…” She could not say the words.

“We only kissed.” Robert tried.

“You only kissed?” Cora said almost inaudible.

Robert would prefer it if Cora would burst out in anger, but instead she went silent. Why was she not shouting at him. He took her hand. “Cora?” Cora pulled her hand back, her eyes were almost white as ice and it hurt to look into them. “It never went any further and I regretted it always. Always.”

“Was she the instigator?” Cora asked calmly. “Tell me the truth.”

Robert swallowed. “No, she was not. I was the one who made the mistake. She was constantly where I was, but I was the one who made the first move.” He looked at Cora, her eyes fixated on his face, but she was not really looking at him. “I have always been ashamed by what I did.”

“Why did you do it?”

“The war had changed so much, you were busy with running the convalescent home. I felt lonely and…….”

“Lonely? Cora’s voice was still calm, she was not raising her voice, no her voice was almost quiet.

“We were losing our darling Sybil, I did not know what to do.”

“Maybe you should have told me, how you were feeling?” He could hear the anger now in Cora’s voice, but she was still very composed.

“I tried, but you did not seem to listen.”

“You are saying, it is my fault you cheated?” Cora was getting really angry now, she felt her stomach flip.

Robert felt his cheeks flush. He did not cheat, he never went to bed with Jane. He stopped in time, even though it was because John entered his dressing room, he stopped. And how could Cora be mad after what she did with Mr. Bricker? “I only kissed the girl. Send her away as soon as that evening happened. You were different, you kept inviting Mr. Bricker into our home and you were publicly flirting with him.” Robert threw at Cora.

Cora’s eyes widened, did he really say this. Was he justifying what he did and comparing it with Mr. Bricker flirting with her. She never realised he was flirting with her, how could she, when the first men who ever showed interest in her was Robert. She did not know how it was to be flirted with. She thought he was a dear friend, with whom she could share her interest in art. She felt her stomach flip again and she hurried out of bed towards the bathroom. She stumbled over a table and fell.

Robert jumped up to help her, but she pushed him away. She stumbled towards the bathroom and made it just in time. Robert held up her hair and rubbed her back.

There was a knock on the bedroom door, Edith’s voice sounded. “Mama? Papa? Are you alright?”

Robert left Cora in the bathroom and opened the door. “Your mother is sick.”

“Oh.” Edith pulled face. I heard a loud stumble and was worried. “Can I do something?”

“Stay with your mother. I will get Baxter.” Glad to have an excuse to leave, he left Edith to attend Cora.

“Mama?” Edith walked into the bathroom, where Cora was trying not to spew again. Tears where streaming down her face.

“I will get you back in bed, come.” Edith put her arm around her mother and helped her mother up, she felt warm to the touch. The moment they walked back into the bedroom, Baxter entered. With some ginger tea in one hand and a bowl in the other one.

Both ladies helped Cora back in bed, who was moving slowly.

Everything hurt, her body but most of all her heart was aching. She tried to smile up at Edith, but it was more a grin. “Thank you. Can you ask your father to sleep in his dressing room?”

Edith was not expecting this question, but this was not the time to ask questions. “I will, Mama. Try to get some more sleep.” She pulled the covers up and tugged her mother in.

Once Edith and Baxter left her room, she burst into tears. She could have known Robert had affairs, it was pretty common along men, but she always thought he was not that type of men. And with one of the maids even. How could he, how could he. She sobbed herself to sleep.

+++

“Is Mama not coming down this morning?” Mary asked, when she entered the library, where Robert was working.

He looked up, he did not sleep at all the rest of the night. “Your mother is not feeling well, I do not think we will see her today.” He answered.

“Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Can I do something for her?” Mary asked.

“Maybe you can check on her later this afternoon?” Robert said.

“She promised Miss Dalgleish to help her this afternoon, I will check if she is up to that.”

“What is your mother doing with Miss Dalgleish, I wonder.” Robert frowned.

“I do not know, Papa. I do not know, and I am not sure I want to know.” She chuckled.

+++

Not long after the dressing gong, Cora walked into the drawing room. Robert noticed she looked extremely pale, and she needed Carson´s hand to steady herself. He stepped towards her, but just one look from Cora made him freeze in his step.

 

Edith sat down next to her mother. “Mama, you do not have to be down here, if it is to much.”

 

Cora touched Edith’s hand. “I am only very tired at the moment. But I cannot wait to hear everything about tomorrow. They are going to film the final scene, right?”

 

“When you are sure?”

 

“I am sure.” Cora smiled.

 

“So about tomorrow……”

 

Robert watched how Cora leaned on Edith’s arm when they walked towards the dining room.

 

+++

 

When Baxter left Cora’s room, Robert knocked and entered. “Can we talk?” He saw Cora had already laid down, normally she would read some before she went to sleep. This day must have been extremely tyring for her.

 

“Not tonight.” Cora answered short.

 

“Cora.” He paused, he did not know what to say. “I am sorry.”

 

Cora stayed silent, she did not know what to say. And to be perfectly honest, she was to tired to try and answer him. She only wanted to sleep.

 

When Cora stayed silent, Robert turned around and closed her door. He whipped away a tear.

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 6

Robert closed the door behind him. His mother just confirmed he was his father’s son. He was relieved but felt shame he had doubted his mother. Eduard was so convincing, and the time period fitted perfectly. But clearly his father had been happy to see his wife back home. He chuckled, remembering coming home from the Boer war. He had been away for a very long time.

He was incredibly nerves when the car turned on the drive way. His girls would be so big already, but he was mostly longing to see his wife. The letters Cora wrote to him, made him aware she was having a hard time. Although she was not saying it with so many words, he could read it in between the lines. He knew his mother was not giving her an easy time. Even though they had three children, his mother still did not believe, Cora would be a good Lady of the house and she would leave one day. He knew his father adored Cora, so that was a consolation to him, he would have protected Cora against the harsh treatment of his mother.

Carson was standing at the front door, welcoming him home. He quickly got inside, and Carson took his jacket. “Where is her ladyship?” He asked.

“She is in the library Milord.”

Robert rushed to the library and swung the door open, only to find his mother sitting there. “Good to have you back home son.” She said and let him kiss her cheek.

“It is good to be back home.” Robert answered. “Where are Cora and the girls?”

“You never know with that woman.” Violet answered.

“She is upstairs in the nursery preparing the girls to greet you, we were not expecting you back so soon.” His father greeted him.

Robert flew up the stairs, he almost bumped into Nanny, who was holding the hand of Sybil. The little girl hit behind her Nanny, when Robert got on his knees to greet her. “Hello darling.” He reached out his hands, but Sybil kept hiding. All of the sudden he was out of balance, when his two other girls run him over. Screaming. “Daddy, daddy.” He laid on the ground with Mary and Edith on top of him. When he got up, he saw Cora standing in front of him, with Sybil on her arm, talking to the girl.

“This is your daddy, you remember daddy, do you?” She put her nose in Sybil’s neck and made her laugh, before putting her on the ground again and looking at him with so much love in her eyes.

Robert lifted the girls from his chest and got up. He stepped towards Cora and pulled her close, he kissed her passionately until he noticed, she was trying to push him off of her.

“Cora?” He asked insecure. Why did she not want to kiss him, did she not miss him.

Cora wrapped her arms around him and whispered. “I wish we could never stop kissing, but not in front of the children and servants.”

He then noticed not only Nanny was in the hallway, there were more servants looking at them. “I am sorry.” He said very softly.

“Don’t be.” Cora smirked. “You need to make up for this tonight.” She winked, took the hands of Sybil and Edith and headed to the stairs.

“Did the talk not go well?” Robert was shaken up from his memories by Cora’s voice. She was standing next to him in the hallway.

All of the sudden he pulled her close and pressed her face against his chest. He felt her hands on his back moving slowly up and down. Something she did when she was calming him down.

“I am my father’s son.” He said relieved, pushing Cora back and kissing her.

“I am glad, I never doubted that for a minute, but still.

Robert kissed her again, a little bit longer this time.

“There is something else on your mind, sweetheart?” Cora asked when they broke the connection.

“I just remembered the day I came back from the Boer war.” He felt Cora stiffen up.

Cora remembered that time as it was yesterday. The moment the letter came, that he was needed at the front, her world fell apart. There she was a young mother, left alone in this big house. Far away from her own family, still trying to get her mothers-in-law approval. And there he went, her rock in this storm.

Robert put his hand on her cheek. “But it is all in the past now, look at us now.” He pressed his lips against Cora’s for a brief moment, he felt her lips curl up in a smile.

“We had our battles, but we won them all.” She said.

“Well said, and we are going to win this one too.” He took her face in both his hands and kissed her again. “We will win this.”

Cora enjoyed this moment to the fullest, his taste in her mouth, his hands on her cheeks. This was all she needed at the moment. Being in the arms of her husband.

“Ahum” a woman’s voice sounded.

Quickly, Robert stepped back, it was Mrs. Hughes who needed their attention. Robert needed to suppress a chuckle, this was not the first time Mrs. Hughes had seen them in a romantic way and this one was innocent.

“Miss Dalgleish is waiting for you Milady.” Mrs. Hughes said.

“Tell her I will be down in about 5 minutes, thank you.” Cora answered and looked at Robert, who was still trying not to laugh.

Once Mrs. Hughes had turned around the corner, Cora put her hand on Robert’s chest. “What is so funny about this?”

“You remember that evening in the library?”

“When you mother moved to the Dower house?” Cora smiled thinking about that evening.

“Exactly, that one. The children were upstairs in their beds, Mama was not around, and all the servants were downstairs. Although, we thought they were.”

“You showed me what heaven was that night.” Cora remembered every detail of that night. How Robert slowly undressed her. He was struggling with her corset, but when he finally managed, he had pushed her down on the sofa and jumped on top of her. Exploring every inch of her body with his mouth. When he finally entered her, he was so incredibly enthusiastic, that at one point the back of the sofa gave out and they were falling on the ground.

“The night we broke the sofa.” Robert chuckled.

Now Cora was laughing, her face brightly red from embarrassment. “When Mrs. Hughes and Carson came running in to check what that noise was. You were so quick with covering me up, I still do not know where you got that blanket from. But they never got the chance to see me fully undressed.”

“I do not know either. I remember thinking I should hide you and felt like a very naughty schoolboy, breaking my mother’s stuff. Not realising the things were mine now.”

“If we ever get the change, we never tried out that sofa we got in the small library.” Cora said giving Robert a very cheeky look.

“Cora.” Robert gasped.

Cora smiled. “I need to go down, Miss Dalgleish is waiting on me.” She kissed him again and walked away. Robert saw how she grabbed the railing to steady herself. How he wished there would be a day he could try out that sofa with her, that would be a great gift. But for now, he would already be happy, if she would stay with him for many years to come.

 

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 5

Robert saw Cora and Edith walking in the garden, he just had a chat with Mr. Barber and Mary about how the servants would stand in as actors in the film.

He went outside and joined them.

`Hello, Papa, have you spoken with Grandmama yet about….”

Cora put her hand on Edith’s arm, trying to stop her. She saw Robert’s face cloud.

“I think, I will go and work on my article.” Edith said quickly, kissed her mother on her cheek and left.

Cora hooked her arm in Robert’s and started walking again.

“I do not know why I am postponing talking to Mama.” Robert said frowning.

“It is totally understandable you are postponing it. I think I would do the same.”

“Oh no you would not.” Robert chuckled. “You would run upstairs and ask directly, you are not scared for answers.”

Cora stopped walking. “You really think, I am never scared?” She looked up at him.

Robert moved his hand to her cheek. “You make it look like you are never scared.” He kissed her forehead. “I wish I had that strength, I worry about everything all the time.” He looked into Cora’s eyes, he had to be honest he saw some fear and he regretted saying she was never scared. Of course, she was, she was scared she was going to leave him soon. Would she be scared he would not manage without her, because she would be right. How was he going to deal with everything life threw at him, without his Cora next to him. She was always the sensible one. When he lost all their money, she was the one who calmy excepted that they would move.

“Robert?” Cora squeezed his arm where her hand was resting. “Can you take me with you in your thought process?”

They were near the secret garden, Cora loved this area. All the flowers that were blooming, gave a wonderful scent. Robert was still not saying anything. “You remember when we walked out here about a year after we wear married?” She asked.

Now Robert was paying attention to her. “I am afraid you need to refresh my memory a little bit. I was somewhere else.”

“What were you thinking off? I hope a good memory.”

Robert shook his head. “It is a sad one, but at the same time a wonderful one.”

“Now, let’s hear your memory first.” Cora encouraged him.

“Do you remember that time I invested in the railways?” Robert looked down at his shoes.

“When all our money was lost? Yes, I do remember.”

“Oh darling, how could you forgive me for that so easily. You were only thinking about the upcoming wedding of Mary and Matthew, and you certainly did not mind, moving out of Downton. And there I was, all caught up in my desperate feeling of not wanting or being able to say goodbye to our home.”

“You grew up at Downton, it was the only place you had ever lived. For me it was different, I moved out of my country into a foreign one. Downton was my home, but I could settle in a new place. And you have to admit, Downton Place, was not that bad.”

Robert laughed. “Not that bad, it was a bit small!”

“You are exaggerating, the housing we offer our staff, that is small, Downton Place was not small at all.”

Robert frowned and looked at Cora. “You think we should build bigger houses for them?”

“No, that is not what I am saying. Not everybody can live in a big house like Downton, but saying Downton Place was small, is not correct.”

Robert raised Cora’s hand to his mouth and planted a kiss on the back of it. “You are right, of course you are.” He felt Cora tremble. “Are you alright?”

“Alright enough, but I could use a rest, before we walk back to the house.”

Robert helped her down on one of the benches. “Are you warm enough?”

Cora smiled up at him and took his hand. Her fingers intertwined with his. “As long as I can hold your hand, I am. Do you remember that day when you told me you loved me?” Cora saw Robert’s lips curl up in a smile. He did remember and knowing he did made her heart flutter. He was the most adorable man she ever met.

“We were walking in this part of the garden after Mary was born. You wanted to get out of the house. I remember you and Mama had an argument, I do not remember about what.”

Cora huffed. “Your Mama and I had constant arguments, but I bet it had to do with me taking care of Mary. I was too hands on according to your mother.”

Robert wrapped his arm around Cora’s shoulders. “I know, I never supported you during that time, but I know for a fact our girls turned out the way they are today, because you gave them attention.”

Cora turned her face towards him. “You never took my side, but rarely took you mothers, most of the time you stayed out of it and that was enough for me. I understood you did not want to say anything to hurt your mother.”

“But I had better stood up for you, because I was hurting you.”

Cora shook her head. “No, you were not.”

“Are you sure?” Robert looked at her with his puppy eyes.

Cora pressed her lips against Roberts. “After you told me, you loved me, there was nothing that could hurt me anymore. The man I loved with everything I was, loved me back. You gave me my beautiful darling girls. You gave me everything a girl could wish for. The most beautiful jewellery, clothes. There was nothing I was short of.

Robert swallowed, he had his short comings. “You remember when you fell sick with the Spanish flue?” Robert started, when children voices sounded, but he could not finish his question.

“I think they are here.” George said and he came around a bush. “I told you I would find them. He exclaimed. Mary was following him with Caroline next to her.

“Mama, Papa, we were worried.”

Cora got up from the bench and walked towards George. Robert noticed she was a little bit more stable on her legs today. He saw how Cora took George’s hand and started to walk back to the house. “Darling, do not worry too much, when things will go worse, we will tell you. I promise.” She said softly and touched Mary’s cheek.

 

We have been happy, haven’t we? Chapter 4

Cora was woken up by the soft voice of her ladies maid, Baxter. She had hoped Robert would come up to wake her. She knew that was unrealistic, although Robert slept in her bedroom every night, it was not proper. He always had his bed made up in his dressing room, but he only slept there when they were cross with each other. Luckily that did not happen very often. She was very lucky with Robert as her husband. Yes, he married her for her money, but he made up for it.

“His lordship asked me to wake you up, milady.”

Cora gave her a smile. She grew very fond of this woman. She remembered the first morning she was in service. Baxter had brought her a glass of orange juice. She felt betrayed the moment O’Brien sneaked out like a thief in the night. But now she looked back, she was more than happy with Baxter. This woman was so much kinder, than O’Brien ever had been.

“Are you alright, Milady?” There was worried wrinkle on Baxter’s forehead. “Should I call for his lordship?”

Cora got up and sat on the side of the bed to let her dizziness pass. “I am alright enough, thank you.”

She let Baxter help her in her dress. She opted for a light dress, she could not handle the tight fabric tonight. Cora took in a deep breath. She had a terrible headache and, she put her hand on her abdomen, was not sure if she could eat with this heartburn.

“I will bring you something for your stomach Milady. Andy is waiting in the hallway to help you downstairs.”

Cora touched Baxter’s arm. “You are very sweet, thank you.” Cora opened her bedroom door and there was Andy to offer her his arm. She dreaded the stairs, but with Andy it would be manageable. When they were halve way, she needed to stop.

“I will take her from here.” Robert’s voice sounded and he rushed up the stairs. He wrapped his arm around Cora’s waist. “I would carry you if that was appropriate.” He whispered.

Together, they descended further, once they were downstairs, Cora took his arm. They could not walk into the dining room, with his arm around her. Mr. Barber, Mr. Dexter and Ms Dalgleish would be present.

+++

“Shall we go through?” Cora said, once everybody was finished eating.

Robert waited a little bit longer and let everybody leave in front of him. “Should we go and tell Mama?” He asked Cora softly.

“Better not, let wait for the results so we know what it is. We would only worry her, and she does not need that right now.”

Robert nodded, he offered Cora his hand so she could get up.

Once Cora was standing up, she pressed her hands in her lower back. She was very stiff. Cora saw a smile on Robert’s face. “Something funny?”

Robert shook his head. “Just a happy memory.”

“Do you want to share it with me?” Cora leaned on his arm.

“I will tell you later, do you want to go to the sitting room, or rather go upstairs?”

He saw the thoughts going through Cora’s head. He knew she was over thinking the consequences of not showing her face, especially because they had guest. Although they were not really guests. “Cora.” He said softly, so the servants who were still in the room could not hear him. “Nobody will mind if you decide to go up and if they do, that is their problem.”

“Mama, will judge me, for going up.” Cora was leaning heavily on his arm now, she felt dizzy.

“That’s it.” Robert said, when he felt Cora slipping. “I will bring you upstairs, I don’t care what anybody will think of it, and especially not Mama.”

“Grandmama, will not care Mama.” It was Mary’s voice. She stepped closer. “The trip to France has taken its toll on you. Please, Mr. Barber will understand.”

“But I promised Miss Dalgleish my help.”

“You can do that tomorrow, although I do not understand why she would need your help.” Mary said, wrapping her arm around her mother.

Cora only smiled at her, she was not going to tell her what she was planning with Ms Dalgleish, she would find out soon enough. She let them guid her to her bedroom.

+++

Baxter left the room, all the lights were out, the only light in the room came from the fireplace. Cora always loved falling asleep with the sound of the crackling fire. She turned on her side and closed her eyes. Suddenly she felt Robert’s lips on her forehead, and she opened her eyes again.

“Darling?”

“There is nothing wrong, sweetheart. It is just. I promised you to tell you that happy memory I had just now, in the dining room.”

Cora chuckled. “You don’t have to tell me tonight. I bet it is way more interesting to be downstairs and listen to what all the film people have to say.”

“Nothing is more interesting than to be with my wife.” Robert corrected her. “You are my everything.”

Cora reached out to him, she touched his cheek. “I love you, now tell me your memory, before I fall asleep.” Cora could feel Robert smiling against her hand. The moment when Robert told her, he loved her, had sparked her love for him even more. And now he told her, like that evening in France, that she was his everything. She could only hope she would be his everything for a long time. But the way she felt right now, did make her insecure. What if she was leaving him soon. A tear rolled down her cheek.

Robert brushed her tear away and softly kissed the palm of her hand. “I was here for a happy memory, not one that would make you cry.” He needed to swallow the lump in his throat away. Seeing Cora in this state broke him, she was always his strength. He scraped his throat. “When you pressed your hands in your back, it reminded me of the night before Mary was born. I had been drinking late with guests and when I wanted to go upstairs, I found you at the bottom of the stairs. Staring upstairs, with your hands in your back. Your belly was enormous.”

Semi-irritated Cora swatted at his legs. “With Mary I wasn’t even that big. It was with Sybil, when I looked like a whale.”

Now Robert laughed out loud. “You are right, you were small with Mary, your bump was also very restricted by your corset. I still do not understand how you can wear them, especially not during your pregnancies.”

Cora gave him an annoyed look, he did not correct her on her saying she looked like a whale. Robert seemed to understand what he just said, because he turned bright red.

“Of course, you did not look like a whale with Sybil. Yes, you were a little bigger, but so incredibly beautiful. I always thought you were beautiful, but the glow on your skin during your pregnancies was incredibly beautiful. Well, I carried you upstairs that evening. I still hear your protest. But there was no change you would have managed that stairs. Later we learned labour had already started and the next day you made me a father of a beautiful little girl.”

“I was so scared, to tell you she was a girl, but the moment you stepped inside the room I knew it did not matter to you. You had been scared out of your mind. I remember trying not to cry out to much, but it did hurt quite a bit.”

“Quite a bit.” Robert exclaimed, if it was up to me, we would never had gone for a second child. I still do not understand how you woman do this.”

“It is how God made us darling.” She yawned and closed her eyes. Her headache was bothering her. “Robert? Can you ask Baxter to bring something up for my head?”

Softly he put his hand on her forehead. “Is it hurting again?” He noticed she felt warm to the touch. “Do you want me to sleep in my dressing room tonight?”

Cora’s eyes shot open. “Have you gone mad? I demand you will sleep here tonight.”

Robert kissed Cora on her lips. “You wish is my command.” He felt Cora’s hand in his neck, she played with his hair. He kissed her again but pulled himself back before he could kiss her again. He would love to feel her, but she needed her rest. “Sleep tight my darling.” Cora had her eyes closed again.