Valentines day

Robert was sitting at his desk, trying to write his card. But what was he going to write. This was their first Valentine’s day as a married couple. She was upstairs feeding Mary. He knew how hard it was to live here at Downton for her. Far away from her family, in a foreign country. And now she also did not give him an heir. He loved his little girl and didn’t mind she was a girl. Of course he had hoped for a boy, just to settle things down, but they both were young and could try another time.

He had to admit, that he started to love spending time with Cora. At first he had gone to her bed just to perform and make sure he did his duty, but over the last year he was starting to grow fond of Cora. She was caring and very loving towards him. Every time he looked in her eyes, he saw her burning love for him and he felt guilty for not loving her back. At least not the way she loved him. He was starting to need her in a way, he had never excepted it. He married Cora for her money, and it was a nice bonus that she was very pretty. He remember his mother’s word clearly: “You are only marrying her for her money, she is American and will never be a good countess for you. Make sure you know what you are doing.”

Boy had his mother been wrong. The moment Cora stepped in her role as countess she did wonderful. Everybody loved her, and how could you not. She had the sweetest face on earth and knew how to entertain people. She even carried her duties far into her pregnancy. Even when she was overtaken by nausea in the first months, she never had failed to be present.

He looked down at his card again. There were just three words: ‘My dearest Cora.’

He was really stuck for words and decided to go out for a walk. “Ra, come.” He called his dog, who directly got up and followed, always in for a walk. Ra was a gift from Cora for his birthday 26th birthday. he was a yellow Labrador and followed him everywhere in the house, if it was up to him, he would sleep in Robert’s room. But that was one step to far for Robert. So every night Ra was taken to the dog house at the back of the house. Carson handed him his jacket and head. “Thank you.” he said, while stepping outside. There was a light breeze, and you could feel that spring was coming, although winter was still waiting around the corner, he knew.

+++

Cora looked out of the window and saw Robert walking down the lawn. He was a handsome man. He was quite tall, she herself was not short, but Robert was taller than she was. His dark brown hair was getting a bit long, she loved how it started to curl up in his neck. She should ask Carson to bring a barber to the house though. In two days they would have their anniversary, she knew he was taking her out for dinner and she wanted him to look the best he could. People in the village loved to judge, she noticed. Although she was greeted with smiles whenever she was in the village, still she felt their eyes on her back, when she walked on.

She looked down in the crib where Mary was sleeping peacefully. She brushed over her hair and bend down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Sleep tight my darling.” Cora walked downstairs, it was almost time for tea and she didn’t want to be late. Violet would scold her she just knew.

She was halfway down the stairs when Violet’s voice sounded. “I thought you would never come down. You spoil that girl too much, she needs to learn to sleep on her own.”

“Mama, I was just feeding her.” Cora said with red cheeks, from embarrassment, there were a lot of maids listening in. And she saw Carson’s disappointed look on his face.

“You need to speed that process up a little bit next time. She needs to be a strong independent woman.”

“If Mary is anything like her grandmother, she will be.” Robert’s voice sounded.

And Cora let out a sigh of relief, now Violet’s attention would not only be directed towards her.

“Cora, is taking care of Mary the way she thinks is best.” Robert stepped closer to Cora and kissed her on the cheek.

This surprised Cora, he rarely showed her affection in front of his mother. She cherished this brief moment. Cora looked up into Robert’s eyes and said without words. “Thank you.”

Robert briefly wrapped his arm around her waist. “Always darling.” Then he offered her his arm and walked towards the sitting room.

+++

Cora had gone to bed a little bit earlier, she needed to wrap Robert’s present for their anniversary. She bought him new slippers, she had seen that the ones he was wearing were getting quite old. She didn’t know what else to buy for him. She realised that she didn’t know him that well yet. Even though they were married for a year now. He came to her bed quite often, but she wasn’t sure if that was out of love, or just lust.

She had decided that she did not care. She was happy, he was coming to her bed and not searching for it somewhere else and giving her some disease. She had heard ladies talk about that during the countless tea parties, Violet dragged her too. It seemed that men didn’t have to be faithful, to their wife’s. Cora hoped that Robert was faithful to her, it seemed that way.

O’Brien came in the room to help her undress. It was the best time of the day, when she was taken out of her corset. Especially with her, still, heavy breasts it was very painful to wear. During her pregnancy she was allowed to wear a special altered one, but now she was expected to be back in the tight ones. That there was no room for her chest, that did not matter, clearly. She had one moment during the day where she got some relief of her corset, in the early afternoon, she was allowed to take some rest in her room. O’Brien changed her corset for just a bodice during those hours.

“Thank you, O’Brien.” Cora said, when she helped her into her nightrobe. She waited for her lady’s maid to leave the room, before picking up the present and hiding it under her side of the bed. Robert would never come there, so it was a safe place. She wondered if he would come to her room tonight. Since Mary was born, he was back in her room more often. During the last months of her pregnancy, he didn’t come at all, what had hurt her. She knew it would not have been easy to give him access, with her big belly, but she was sure, there would have been a way.

There was a knock on the door, for a moment she didn’t know from which door it was coming from, but then the door between her room and Robert’s dressing room opened. And he entered, already changed and wrapped in his nightrobe. She looked at his feet and saw the worn down slippers. She chuckled, she had the perfect gift for him in two days. Then she noticed that he was lingering in the doorway.

“Are you not coming in?” She asked.

Robert hesitated. “Did Mary already have her last feeding?”

Cora nodded. “She will not come for the next couple of hours.” She felt embarrassed to talk about these things with Robert. She didn’t know why, because he was her husband and knew perfectly well, she was breastfeeding their child. He had even commented on her full breasts. ‘I hope you will never stop breastfeeding.’ He had murmured one night, while he was playing with one of her breasts. She had understood why he said that. She did not have much, but they had started growing during her pregnancy and he loved that. Sometimes he was a little bit too rough, but she did not tell him, too scared to scare him off.

“Alright.” Robert got in and closed the door behind him. He walked around the bed towards Cora’s side. This surprised Cora, he never did that. Immediately she was scared she did not push the gift far enough under the bed.

Robert sat down next to her. “Darling, do you know what day it is today?”

Cora’s cheeks flushed, it was not the 16th yet, she had checked the date with Mrs. Hughes this morning. What else could be today?

He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. “Hmmm, what did you put on your lips?” He asked.

“Some beeswax, Rosamund brought me the other day.”

“I like it. It taste sweet, just like you.”

“Oh Robert.” In a way, it always hurt Cora when Robert was like this. She never knew if he did this because he cared for her, or because he thought he needed to.

“But, you did not answer my question yet, so I think you do not know what day today is.” He paused and took her hand in his. “Today it is the 14th of February, the day of love.”

“Valentine’s day.” Cora breathed out.

“Yes, my dear. Valentine’s day. It is our first valentine’s day as a married couple.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. He looked over her hand into her eyes.

It hit Cora that there was an unusual look in it. He was looking at her with so much adoration, she had not seen in his eyes over this last year. She saw him reach in his pocket and handed her a card.

There was a little angle on the front, with an arrow in one hand and a heart in the other. “Turn it around.” Robert urged her.

Cora turned the card around and read.

‘My dearest Cora,

When I look into your eyes,
I see a lake, calm and still.
When I listen to your voice,
I hear the wind rustling through the trees.
When I lay next to you in bed,
I smell the fresh flowers blooming in the early spring.
When you touch my hand,
I feel the sun, shining bright.
When I kiss your lips,
I taste freshly picked berries.

You warm my heart, every morning you greet me.
You fill my heart, with more love than I could ever imagine.

Yours always.

R’

With tears in her eyes, Cora looked up at Robert. “Do you mean that?”

“Oh, my darling Cora.” Robert pulled her close. “I do, and I feel stupid for not seeing all this earlier. I love you, my darling.”

Cora pulled herself back and looked into his eyes. “Do not say that if you do not mean it.”

Robert did not say anything, he took Cora’s face in his hands and kissed her passionately. He felt she separated her lips to give him access. The kiss turned into the best one they ever had. They both had to gasp for air when they broke the connection. Robert was still holding her face in his hands. “I cannot wait to see what the future brings for us.” He kissed her again, long, and soft.