Cora sat next to Edith in the cab, Mary had taken the front seat. It had upset Cora, but she knew that Mary and Edith never had had a good relationship with each other. And it did not help that Edith was grieving, Mary did not understand why she was grieving. For her Michael was just Edith’s employer, nothing more.
She heard Edith take a deep breath; Cora placed her hand on top of Edith’s. Without a comment and briefly, just to let her know she was there for her.
Saying farewell to Robert had been equally awkward. He kissed her on the cheek and lifted her suitcase in the car. They had not said much. What was there to say? She wanted to say that she loved him and missed him. But that stadium had passed. The papers were signed months ago. She was glad they were talking again, but a way back was not in sight. Did she genuinely want to go back? Or was this a longing for something that had been in the past? And was she only holding on to the past? Was she still scared to let go and go on? Would she ever be able to love somebody else? Did she want to love somebody else?
A deep sigh left her body, while she stared out of the window. Rain was pouring down, it was a perfect reflection of the mood inside the car, gloomy. It was Edith who placed her hand on top of Cora’s now.
Cora turned her head towards Edith and gave her a soft smile. “I am alright.” She said softly, so Mary would not hear her.
“Where do you sleep tonight, Edith?” Mary had turned around, looked down towards Edith’s hand on Cora’s and arrogantly wrinkled her nose.
Edith looked at Cora. “I was hoping to sleep at Mama’s house.” Her voice unsure.
“No, you cannot. I am sleeping there tonight. You have to go to your own house or go to Aunt Rosamund.”
“Mary!” Cora let out, in a surprised angered voice. “The three of you have a room in my house. I especially searched for a bigger house so you could all stay at the same time. Edith had as much right to stay there as you have.”
“Compared to Downton it is a small house.” Mary bitched.
Cora swallowed; she did not want to fight with Mary.
“I will go to Aunt Rosamund, Mama. If that makes Mary happy. It is her special day tomorrow, together with you.”
Cora gave Edith a thankful look. “Only when, you are sure?”
+++
Robert stepped into Cora’s old room, he walked towards the door to his dressing room. He put the key in the lock, it needed to be on Cora’s side he thought. She was the one controlling it.
To be fair, he was not expecting to ever see Cora back in this room. The way they said goodbye did not predict they would ever be together again.
Was she able to go on? Did she ever think about him? Did she miss him like he missed her? He inhaled deeply through his nose; Cora’s scent was still present in this room.
Suddenly he saw her fighting for every breath again. How she was moving her arms and legs in an attempt to lift her body, hoping to get air in. He shivered; he did not want to think back at that time. He made the biggest mistake in his life.
He walked towards the door and glanced at the bed. He tried to recall a happy memory. It was one where Cora was holding Mary right after her birth. She was glowing while nursing the baby in her arms. Robert was so incredibly proud; he had been with her every step of the way. His mother had not liked him being in the room, but he had insisted, and Cora wanted him close. It had taken a long time, but she was so strong. He could see in how much pain she was, but she never complained, not one bit. She endured it like the true fighter she was. He had seen the sorrow in her eyes, when the words: “Congratulations, it is a girl.” were spoken. She had looked at him and without words she had said sorry. But there was no reason to say sorry. A boy had been wonderful, and it would have settled his title with a lot more ease. But in these modern times a girl could also inherit the title, there was a bit more paperwork involved.
“Milord?” Bates stood in the hallway.
Robert quickly closed the door, embarrassed he was seen in Cora’s room.
“Tom is downstairs waiting for you.” Bates said.
This made Robert raise his eyebrows. “Did he say what he wants?” Robert did not feel comfortable meeting Tom alone. Why was he here, he should be with Sybil and Sybbie.
“He did not Milord. He is waiting in the drawing room.”
Robert went downstairs and greeted a clearly nervous Tom. “What brings you here?”
“Sybil has asked me to come here and ask you a question.” He stopped and looked at Robert. “We want to Christen Sybbie, and we hope you and Lady Grantham, uhm, Lady……” Tom started stuttering, not knowing how to address Cora.
“You can call her Lady Grantham, that is alright.” Robert said, unsure himself what her title would be now. Probably no title at all, and it would be just Cora Levinson.
Tom nodded. “Sybil and I hope you want to attend the Christening.”
Robert’s eyebrows grew together, there was a reason, why Tom came by to ask this question. But what was it?
“It will be a Catholic Christening.” Tom said.
Aha, there it was. Catholic, he could have known, Tom was Irish and Catholic. “Does Lady Sybil agree with that?” He asked.
“We married for the Catholic church; she agrees.”
Robert grinded his teeth but forced a smile on his face. “I will ask Lady Grantham, but I think we will be there.”
Verhalen van Traan 