Robert was staring at the ceiling. Rosamund and Marmaduke had stayed for dinner, they had only just left. As soon as they left the house, Cora had gone upstairs. She did not offer to help him to bed. He had to admit, it was not necessary anymore, but he loved how caring Cora was during their night ritual.
He had been a real prick to her today. He knew that she did not deserve that treatment from him. It was not her fault he was still restricted in what he could do. It was not her fault Marmaduke was faster with asking Rosamund’s hand. To be fair, they knew each other before he knew Cora. He just had hoped to be further in the relationship with Cora.
He turned on his side, something that he could finally do, after weeks of lying on his back. Was he honest now? Was their relationship that shallow? Cora had stayed with him here in Downton. Something she had no obligation to, but she had not even considered going back to London and let him fend for himself. There had been no talk about his own family coming to Downton to help him. Or even worse, hiring staff. No, Cora had stayed with him, she even asked Baxter to come and work in Downton for the time being. Why did he react his anger at Cora, instead of himself?
Robert turned back on his back. The first thing he would do tomorrow morning was apologising to her. She had looked so lost when she went up to bed. What if she decided that she did not want to be with him anymore? He gave her enough reason for it today. He felt his heart racing at the thought he could lose his darling Cora.
Quickly he got up from the bed, which resulted in him grabbing a nearby chair because he got dizzy. He was going to talk to her right now. She deserved his apology now, not in the morning. He had not walked up the stairs yet, but if he took it step by step, he should be able to go to her room.
Once he was upstairs, he needed a minute to catch his breath. The pain in his leg was almost unbearable, but he ignored it. It would go away, it was the same pain he felt after walking too far or too fast. Dr. Clarkson had warned him about it and said it was normal.
What room would she be in? He did not know, there were several bedrooms on this floor. What if he walked into Baxter’s room?
At random he opened a door. The room was empty. It wasn’t until the third door that he saw a bed with a sleeping woman in it. He had to look carefully to see if it was Cora, but then he saw her bathrobe and knew it was the right room. He walked to the bed as quietly as he could. Cora was snoring softly. She had tied her wild curls in a braid. The covers had fallen off of her, her pyjama shirt was half open and he could see her perfectly shaped breast. His whole body reacted and he found it hard not to dive on top of her. Instead, he carefully sat down next to her and pulled the duvet up over her shoulder.
Cora moaned and curled herself up under the duvet. Robert sat and stared at her. Her face was relaxed and she had an angelic look over her. It was a relief that she had fallen asleep. He would have felt even more guilty if she had still been awake. He did not want to wake her, but he had to if he wanted to apologise. Maybe he should wait until the morning, as was his first plan.
He was trying to get up from the bed when he felt Cora’s hand against his back.
“What are you doing upstairs?” Her sleepy voice sounded.
Robert turned back to face her. “I need to apologise, I have been a real jerk today.”
“Robert, it is late.” Cora sounded annoyed. “Please go back to sleep.”
He was not sure what to do. He understood why Cora reacted the way she did. She had every right to be angry. It was better to just listen and try again tomorrow. He got up and walked towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Cora now sounded surprised.
Robert turned around, he saw Cora sitting up. “Back to bed. We will talk in the morning.”
“You know that this is a king-size bed, don’t you? Do not act stupid and come sleep next to me. You are upstairs already.” Cora pulled the duvet back.
Robert got back to the bed and laid down. Cora immediately turned back on her side, facing away from him. He tried turning on his side, but his leg and arm hurt him, so he turned back.
He lay there for a very long time, again staring at the ceiling. His mind did not stop, he was allowed in the bed with Cora, which was a good sign. But the fact she turned to face away from him was not. How was he going to make her come back to him? He messed up, really messed up.
“Stop worrying and close your eyes,” Cora said while turning to her other side. She folded her hands under her pillow.
Robert let out a sigh and did as she said. However, he knew it would not make any difference, sleep would not come.
He felt the bed move and Cora’s hand slid over his stomach. She laid her head on his arm, hesitant Robert wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “We will talk in the morning. Can you now please go to sleep, it was a long and tiring day for you.” Cora angled her face upwards. “I know you are desperate to feel one hundred per cent yourself again and it is upsetting you that it is taking this long. I had hoped you would not direct your anger at me, but I guess it is the safest place. Now let it rest, I need to get up early and would like to get some more sleep.”
He felt her getting up and pressing her lips against his cheek. Another deep sigh escaped him, but this time it was from relief.
Verhalen van Traan 