Robert walked into Cora’s sitting room, where he found her at her desk. He walked over and put down a cup of tea.
Cora looked up, but when she saw Robert, her face clouded. “Thank you.” She said softly.
Robert put his hand on Cora’s shoulder and felt how stiff she was, he softly kneaded her shoulder, but Cora pulled back. “Don’t, not now” Was the only thing she said. He pulled his hand back and left her alone.
Cora put down her pen and massaged her temples, she felt a headache coming on. She decided to go upstairs to lay down for a minute, before working with Miss Dalgleish. This afternoon they would film the last scene, but she and Miss Dalgleish needed to do a little bit of work still.
+++
Cora had asked Mary to bring Miss Dalgleish up to her room. Baxter had helped her change into a dress. She could not manage anything tight at the moment, but she was not seeing Miss Dalgleish in her nightwear.
Her head was exploding, but focussing on something else would help, she figured. She wished she could ask Robert for a neck massage, she was stiff as a board. Why did she reject him this morning? She scolded herself, why would she ask him, he had no right she was forgiving him so easily. She frowned, she did not want to spend her last days with Robert in a dispute. She could not leave him in this state, and she did not want to leave in this state. She had been so happy the last couple of days remembering with Robert. The happy memories, the sad memories, their live together. There was no point in being angry after all these years.
There was a knock on the door and Miss Dalgleish entered. “I am sorry Milady to take up your time again, while you do not feel well.”
Cora sat up on her chaise longue and smiled at her. “Come in, come in. Do not worry, you are keeping my mind of things. Let’s continue where we stopped yesterday.”
+++
Robert waited for Miss Dalgleish to leave Cora’s room. He was not sure if it was wise to go inside, but he needed to see her. When he entered the room, he saw Cora sitting at her dressing table, with her head in her hands, her fingers rubbing her temples. He stepped closer and careful put his hands in her neck and started massaging. He felt Cora stiffen up in a protest, but directly letting go and excepting his touch.
After a couple of minutes, he sat down on the chair next to Cora and took her hands in his. She had her eyes closed but was turned towards him.
“Cora, I am not asking you to forget what I have done. I am not even asking for your forgiveness. I am not even sure what I am asking of you, but can you please talk to me?”
Now Cora looked up and her eyes locked with his. He saw something different in them, the cold ice blue was gone. She took a deep breath but did not say a word.
“I know I was wrong for kissing Jane and even wanting her, I cheated and hated myself for it. And I was very, very wrong throwing Mr. Bricker in the game again, I tried to justify my own mistake. I know, he was the one who made the move, not you.” He felt Cora’s fingers wrap around his hand. “What can I do to make this right?”
“You cannot.” Cora said softly.
“Oh.” Robert tried to pull his hands back, but Cora’s grip was firm.
“You do not have to.” Cora continued. “I will never forget what happened, but it will not help me being angry about it now.” She stopped for a second and looked into Robert’s eyes again. “I want to remember our happy times together and the times we came out stronger after hard times. I want to love you, because that is what I did for all my life, and it is what makes me happy.”
“Do you mean that?” Robert said, slightly shocked.
“Do not think you are of the hook this easily, because you really hurt me with this.”
Robert nodded, he could not believe, Cora was saying this. He was so scared she would…. he did not even know what she would do.
“But I love you with everything that I am, and this is not going to change that.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. She rested her cheek against his and closed her eyes. She felt Robert pulling her on his lap and she now rested her head on his shoulder. His hand massaging her neck very gently. She was falling asleep, and she did not fight it.
Robert waited for Cora to be fast asleep, before he got up and carried her to her bed. She must be exhausted. His confession did not help with her being ill. He sat on her side of the bed for a long time, until Edith came in.
“Is Mama getting worse?” She asked.
Robert shook his head. “No, she is not. She is just asking a little bit too much of herself.”
“They are ready to start filming, but wanted to wait for you two to come down, but I guess Mama is not coming.”
Cora was woken up by their conversation. “Give me a minute to freshen up, and we will be down.” She said.
Robert put his hand on her cheek. “You do not have to go down, when you are to tired.”
Cora pushed herself up. “I am not missing out on this.”
Robert chuckled. “I would not mind missing out on it. All that fuss.”
Now also Cora chuckled. The last time you were happy to miss out on the fuss was when we had that open house.”
“After my ulcer burst. I remember.” Robert clearly remembered how rough he had felt that whole evening and when he wanted to excuses himself, he had spewed all over the table.
“When you splattered blood all over me, I was scared out of my mind.” Cora said.
“I remember thinking I needed to tell you that I loved you. I could not die without telling you how much I loved you.”
Cora wrapped her arms around him. “But you did not die that night.”
Robert pulled her even closer. “And you are not going to die soon either.”
Cora pressed her lips against Robert’s neck. “We will know more soon.” Dr. Clarkson had said he would come over tomorrow to tell them the results. Cora noticed she was getting really nervous, how were they going to deal with it, when it turned out to be cancer. Especially with Mama getting weaker by the day. She took a deep breath and put her feet on the ground. “Now, time to see what they are doing downstairs.”
Robert watched how Cora was fixing her hair. Her fingers pinning up her curls, like she was doing this everyday. But Robert knew, Cora rarely fixed her hair herself. 9 out of 10 it was Baxter doing it. She picked up her gloves and it amazed Robert how she was able to get her hands in them. He would have thrown them out already.
Cora looked at herself one more time and decided it was good enough, she hooked her arm in Robert’s and they went downstairs.
Verhalen van Traan 